Everything you do has the potential to become the way you see yourself. But the chances of developing an identity crisis are pretty high when you don’t know what you want to do with your life.
In fact, your vision of the future will probably look like an enormous fog so that you’re not able to get a good picture of it. This means you should take the time to figure out what you want and what you don’t want.
By doing so you can become more clear on who that person really is and what they are proud to announce to the world. There is still a problem that needs your attention because identifying with the wrong things will set you up to lose.
Meaning that if you say that you’re friends with Ben and something were to change that it would be gone in a second. The same thing happens when you identify with your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend.
It may be nice to walk around and be known as his/her spouse but if that changes it’s likely to lead to some emotional suffering.
Instead, you will want to make sure that you identify with your skills and abilities that way you are only going to gain more confidence as you build more skills.
The real question then becomes how can I create an Identity that will benefit me the most as I grow and things change?
Your Vision Of The Future Is The Key
A while back now, I created a post and I took the time to list various strengths and weaknesses. Those things that you do really well and enjoy even when you aren’t getting paid to do them.
Knowing what skills you have that you do well are the very sort of thing you want to establish an identity based on. For example, you have dreamt of becoming a website developer, and your design and coding skills are excellent.
This knowledge is one way you create confidence because you announce to people what you are skilled at doing.
You can even mention some of your previous work so that it’s easy to see proof. Beware that achievements aren’t permanent and things can change quickly.
One thing to keep in mind is that you will want to stay up to date in case you become more skilled in another area. The many different roles that you play make up your overall identity because there are lots of them.
When you can establish yourself as an expert and even a published one, there is a solid trail of proof that other people can view which will lead back to other things you have done.
The point is to choose things that have less of a chance of changing, that’s why it should be more about the internal skills and abilities you have and not based on things that are external.
This will prevent somebody else from being able to take it away and let you boost how you feel at that same time. The best example to show you is to think about yourself in a way that helps you.
Instead of listing the books you write, you will say I am an excellent writer who has an extensive library of my work published. Or a teacher who has knowledge about the real world and can offer wonderful incite to your students.
Even though a teacher is a job it’s also a skill that works just by sharing what you know with another person. How does this matter for your vision of the future?
From your two lists of wants and things you want to avoid, you will come up with a plan for your future. This will include many of the skills and abilities you either have now or will learn to become better at.
Anytime you are studying something you may identify with that area of study. Base yourself on what you are learning so that it shows what you’re interested in. When you are highly skilled in that area you adjust the way you see it working in your life.
This will mean that you don’t run the risk of just being somebody’s spouse and you have a full resume of your potential. You can even test that you are comfortable enough to say these things out loud and whether you’re proud of it or not.
The control is completely in your hands and allows for you to avoid becoming somebody in crisis.
How do I learn what to include in my vision about the unknown?
Sometimes there isn’t a great way to prepare for the most unusual of things to happen but the part you should be focused mostly on is your part in it.
Your beliefs about anything are going to be unknown until something comes up to either change the evidence you use to reinforce it or disprove it.
For this reason, many people have chosen to believe in a higher power and to be more specific a God. This is a wonderful way to see yourself if that is the case.
Here is where you actually gain something from a mindset about God being immortal and loving because nobody can change this. The probability that it will be lost is as close to zero as you can get because you control all your beliefs regardless of what others say.
That is also why you want to believe in the best and the most positive things so that your identity won’t be affected at all ever. The more permanent that something can become, the better it is to base your identity on.
That means stay away from emotions, feelings, hobbies, movies, games, and other weak opinions that you can have as you get further into your plans.
Show me how to create a great identity for myself
As you are learning things you are likely finding out what you really enjoy doing. Because this isn’t something you are doing just to brag or to show off you actually believe that it’s who you are.
Take the time to list your strengths on a piece of paper, and ask why is this something I need in my life? When you come up with several positive reasons you know that it’s a solid piece of your identity and that it will not be changed at any time in the future.
An example that I use is this: I am an intelligent man who has overcome many different struggles and because of my experience I also know that it’s important to be an expert at solving problems and helping other people.
The reason that these work well is that it’s not going to change even if I stop working on this website. The beliefs will still remain until I choose to stop thinking of myself in these ways or find out that helping others is a bad thing.
None of that is honestly going to change because I can continue to hold those beliefs regardless of what the world wants me to believe. I control who I am and it’s not up to somebody else to show me what I need to think.
Notice I mention two things 1) Problem solving and 2) Helping others. These are things that come from the knowledge I am able to obtain by reading more, searching for answers more, and understanding how the world works.
I can just as easily say that I am a gamer because I love to play video games. I am a writer because I love to journal, write blog posts, and make lists etc.
Why then do I not include those things in my identity? Right now these are things that I do, but they aren’t as high up in my skills or abilities as some other things.
It’s one of the reasons I know that figuring out who you are is a vital activity because you get the chance to develop into anything that you find is important. Those things may change in the future, I may no longer identify as a gamer because some new technology could come out.
The same with writing, if I started to use a voice recognition software and dictate my words into the written form I will be less likely to feel that what I am doing is writing.
That can suggest that I am also a deep thinker who likes to picture the future and try to capture a real vision of what it will be like. That is different than a what if because I am not worried or doubting myself at all, my beliefs will not be changed because I do something a different way.
They will only be slightly adjusted to fit this new way of thinking. The main point is that you will find your strengths to be the easiest method to rely on and that it’s much better than using any external factor such as your job title, your income level, your relationships, or your current living situation.
When you keep these things in mind you will not need to worry about having an identity crisis. And if you are somebody in the middle of one at any time of your life, take the time to understand why that is and to make the necessary changes so that you can start to feel better.
Your vision of the future is critical to your identity, make sure that you love the direction you are going toward. Then make sure you will do the best that you can so it will be possible.
Let me know if you have any questions or comments and be sure you take the time to establish the best identity you can.