I am not as good…
I can’t seem to be able to do it like…
I will never become better than…
Negativity from the get-go happens when we compare ourselves with other people.
This negativity will stack up and bring almost instant depression.
Simply saying stop it won’t work because we feel like this is our only way to know what our weaknesses are, right?
Why we shouldn’t compare ourselves with others goes even deeper than just bringing about depression.
It leads to permanent damage because you will never see yourself the way you see somebody else.
That doesn’t mean we can’t try, but the effort we expend doing so will not benefit us one single bit.
Instead, we have to find out how we can improve from a point we start on to one we wish to move forward to.
I suggest you think about and invest in some key items if you are serious about improving your life.
Investing in yourself is the only way to stay accountable
Personally, what I used to start my progress was a blog. I needed a place that I could write and not have to constantly change.
I didn’t want to be restricted to just taking notes on how I was feeling, I also wanted to have a bunch of options for when I overcome this and can turn it into a shared experience for helping others.
This is your decision to make but I strongly advise you to read this article about where I get my website and training from. It may be meant for you as well because it can help if you commit to it.
Back to the issue here and accountability. I have read a few places where motivation and effort change extremely fast. One day the desire to gain is high and the next it might completely go away.
What do you do if you lose hope? This does take time since bad habits don’t just remove themselves. That is all we are gonna be dealing with is fixing our worst habits first.
Before we start on them we need to do a few things first:
- Find a person that will try this with you. If you can’t find anyone you can use me, everything I am doing on this website is the same thing I am writing about. You may just need to find the right article that applies to you in order to find the motivation. Then in the comments tell me what you think, let me know where you are and where it gets harder.
- Be detailed in order to communicate effectively. I was completely scared out of my mind the first few weeks I started to blog. Writing down everything and talking to people like myself helped me a lot. I didn’t achieve immediate success but one thing is sure, my little baby step successes did start to add up.
- The community helped me from the first brave hello I shared with them. It didn’t matter if they were shy and I didn’t tell them I was shy either. I recommend you stop calling yourself shy as well. Why? Because it’s a label and it holds us back. I began learning a new skill and I also started trying to find questions I could answer to become helpful.
- Take in each experience as you go. These means don’t try to do everything immediately. Build on areas you enjoy first, my very first site wasn’t this one and I moved forward with what I was learning.
- My gut instinct was to find out how quickly I should be doing things. This was wrong because it’s comparing myself to somebody else. I slowly eased away from making these comparisons and it was great practice to get to the next step.
What I am really saying is to try and try but not let anyone be your yardstick.
I just got busy learning something and knowing I was doing it better then I had done it previously.
Motivation from knowing things slowly kept increasing and the changes crept in along the way.
Finding out where I was interested and where I wasn’t
Besides just starting the website I needed to figure out my passions. I had no idea what this word passion even meant. But I started referring to it as a strong desire to learn or do something different.
When my outlook on what I was doing became less about somebody else and almost always about myself it became much less confusing to make progress.
This can only be done by figuring out what you really like, vs what you just think you like. Removing what other people like from the experiences all together was a bit rough.
I got used to being a compilation of other peoples likes and didn’t actually know what I was about for the longest time. This changed but not overnight for me.
One of the reasons I worked on a few sites prior to starting this one. I had to find out what I needed to eliminate in order to figure out where I would put my effort into and be the most benefit to myself.
For you, it will likely be different but just start out with something and keep your mind ready to figure more out as you go.
Making progress can be tricky when you face yourself
One thing that isn’t all that noticeable is whether it’s helping as much as expected.
Since we are still talking about comparisons and how to eliminate the need for them, we continue to have images that are leading us away from progress.
I think of these as challenges which come up and cause frustrations to rise up.
If only life was simple then change would be simple and maybe a quick fix could be found.
The painful reality is the day to day struggles are real and obstacles in the way are very real. What I need to share with you is the process of changing our minds to adapt.
I go over this in more depth here but right now I wanted to show you how to be ready for the obstacles.
We can fix these on day one or day two
In order to feel good while working, we must identify a way to reward ourselves. This fixes 3 things when starting out and becomes essential to continue.
First, we have to begin mapping out our minds irrational thoughts. There are a few which we must remove that will be effective in the beginning.
Changing the words we use to describe ourselves. Here is an example, Instead of saying I am good at something. Change it to a word like wonderful, amazing, fantastic.
This will begin to reinforce how we see ourselves.
Next, use visuals when you want something. For instance instead of making a comparison to what another person has. Change it to a picture of what you want to gain.
I want a website that helps to improve the lives of others. My image is a picture of my monitor viewing this website which shows its potential.
Lastly, find a snack or some physical kind of reward that you can have whenever you complete a goal. One example is after I finish writing a blog post I eat a fun size snickers bar.
You can do whatever you want but make sure you will enjoy it and only do it after you complete something that takes effort.
I mentioned how I had difficulties starting out with a website. The tasks which are the most difficult for me to do involve social media.
When things are a matter of feeling uncomfortable this can become difficult to see ourselves ever doing. For me it’s been far easier to share another person’s post then it is to share mine.
Doing this leaves you open to sharing your own as you gain confidence in what you are writing. A little bit here and there is all you need to do and see as helping before it gets addicting.
Why we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others gets easier to do when we become more focused on what we are amazing at.
One of the ways I practice is by publishing my blogs which are aimed at helping other people. Since websites are important places to build.
We not only are gaining wonderful experiences, but also gaining skills we can use to have a career doing anything that we find fascinating.