Despite everything we are taught do we ever understand what being happy means? When we get depressed or feel sad and alone, what do we do to change that feeling?
In order to figure out what we are seeking, don’t we need to know what it actually is? When we ask what is happiness in life, where should we turn for answers?
Remembering what it takes to understand our emotions, we must first identify something we wish to emulate. For this to happen we need to see an example or find a previous experience of being happy.
How do you do this if you are always unsure of where you are trying to get to. When you don’t know where you are even at?
Suffering is the opposite of happiness
Until we decide on what happiness is, we can only know what it isn’t. One way to determine if something is making us unhappy is to describe how we feel.
When looking for descriptions of suffering we learn that it’s anytime we are mad, upset, angry, frustrated, annoyed, jealous, envious, uncomfortable, on edge, anxious, depressed, helpless, out of control, stuck and unfocused.
Looking over the list we notice there are words that mean similar things, but how many words do we have for happiness? Joyful, excited, proud, confident, self-assured, prepared, focused, creative, determined, on a mission and open minded.
Neither of these is complete lists, I am sure you can think of more for either. The point I am trying to make is we have many different words that all refer to similar emotions.
Have you taken the time to understand what will make you happy? Or do you focus on what you see others doing and just assume if you do the same that you will be happy as well?
Our minds are great at making us think we know what will create that feeling of happiness, but what it really is doing is making us compare ourselves to somebody else and that just confuses us.
Beware of that which you don’t understand!
How can we possibly know what will make us happy if we haven’t taken the time to understand ourselves and why we desire happiness?
When do we know that we have it? When do we know if we can even find it?
We get so caught up in trying to be something else than who we are which causes our suffering. Instead of pursuing the thing which will actually make us happy, we waste all our efforts trying to copy others.
When you copy you only imitate something and what we should have figured out a long time ago is our own uniqueness. Instead of following somebody else and doing what they do, we need to find out all we can about ourselves.
Misery loves company
I doubt that anyone who is actually happy is surrounded by people who are miserable. In fact, we often see people who remove themselves from there social media accounts just to get away from all the hostility out there.
How does a forum with shy miserable people help us? This can be said for any forum with people who just sit around feeling sorry for themselves wishing things could be different.
You cannot simply wish for things and bitch and complain when nothing ever happens that is different from what you are doing. Instead what we learn is we need to develop some type of plan which moves us towards a goal.
When it’s obvious to ourselves that we are suffering and want to be anything else but stuck like this, we need to figure out where we can transform ourselves and become happier.
To do this you need to ask what fulfillment means.
I know it’s probably not the ideal way for us to want to dig into our own minds and figure things out. We have been taught that somebody else is gonna tell us what is wrong.
Then all we need to do is follow their advice to find our answers.
The Problem with people giving us advice
Most of the time these people don’t really give a fuck what happens to us. They simply want to do whatever is easy and point us in the direction of something that makes them money.
It all sounds like it’s common sense and we do what they say before we know it we feel good for a short amount of time and we forget to keep going forward.
The reality is quick fixes work and they are easy to find. That is why there are so many self-help books that all give us the same advice.
What happens to us is none of their concerns because they have most likely moved on to the next book or idea to make a quick buck.
Leaving us to wonder what to do next, or what we end up with is something that doesn’t work and we gain nothing but a bad experience which makes us feel like it’s pointless to keep trying.
Cycle of destructive thinking
This will leave us still suffering and now with even less motivation to listen to anybody else’s ideas. When our experiences lead us down again it gets dangerous.
While looking for happiness we continue to only find more suffering. This vicious cycle grinds in our minds and prevents us from figuring out something that is right in front of our faces.
People may or may not find what they are looking for with a therapist, why? Because they are afraid, to be honest, or willing. This can be the result of doing everything else but what actually works.
Self-discovery is the only option which can start to help us overcome our troubles. We have to understand ourselves first before anyone else can begin to feel empathy for us.
We also need to know ourselves before we can even start to try and help other people.
Let’s reflect on what we have learned
My goal with this site is to help people experience the same awareness that I am finding. Knowing that my mind and experiences change daily, what works is something we all must figure out.
I can share with you the information that I find working for myself and wish I could somehow force you to feel the same way.
Unfortunately, all I can do is keep writing and hope that some of my words influence you to take action and try one thing I bring up.
What is happiness in life? The only answer is through fulfillment, and that means we each have to figure out what will make us happy.
Fulfilment happens when we start working on things to remove our suffering and hope we can eliminate it from our lives. When we have found happiness we no longer need to know what suffering is.