The last thing you want to hear is you need to break free from your comfort zone. It’s been holding you back from the things that will make you happier.
Too bad that it’s the truth, there are many ways a comfort zone hurts you and it’s important to understand all of them.
This will allow you to gain the abilities and take the actions that are required.
What a terrible word that is “required” I can’t tell you how much of a pain in the ass it is to find out that I am required to do something.
Unfortunately, it’s even more painful to stay hidden away inside of this comfort zone because it allows you to self-sabotage every action you take.
No amount of effort is immune when you are unwilling to see that you are at fault and decide how badly you will fail.
Quickly I wanted to suggest that you go and read this previous post building your ideal self-image so that this one will be in the right order to learn from.
After reading that you should have a better idea of why I dislike requirements and comfort zones. They create illusions in your life that make you believe something that really isn’t helpful.
When you get rid of them both, and live in search of the things which nobody else thought to do you will most likely have some anxiety.
The more I grow, the more I look for the things to face head on that would have scared the crap outta me previously.
This gives me a chance to show my mind who is in control, and I get to teach myself that it’s alright to be afraid of something a little bit.
Then by the time, you have practiced doing it, there is a great chance that you will be one of the best and can use it to start teaching others.
Realise, how powerful it is to turn a tiny amount of anxiety into something that starts to excite you. That will be a possibility when you have trained your mind to use it the correct way.
How does a comfort zone lead to self-sabotage?
First, let’s understand what a comfort zone actually is. It’s a place where you can perform automatically and it doesn’t require you to think before you take any actions.
These can be things that are positive or negative and that most of the time, you don’t even realize that you are doing it.
Over time you will begin to get bored because everything is predictable.
Usually, because the repetitive nature of the comfort and the lack of thought to do it.
Seriously, when you get stuck in a job or anything else that becomes robotic, what do you expect to happen to your body and mind?
Life becomes too easy, and you start to regress in almost everything else that makes your life interesting.
I know, this sounds like an easy way to spend your time.
What do you think will happen when you decide you have had enough of this mundane life and really want to test yourself?
Chances are high that you will need to go back and re-learn some skills and abilities you once had. By having to spend more time relearning things you create more situations that will stress you out and turn into anger.
Before you know it, that comfort level you’re so used to has become an enormous obstacle and one that intimidates you beyond what it should.
The self-sabotager in you shows up and convinces you to stop doing something that you know is hard. It persuades you to sit back and do only what you know is easy.
Now you find yourself stuck in a no thrills job with a mind that encourages you to be lazy. Instead of being confident about your abilities you have allowed them to become rusty, and this opens the door for negative thinking.
That’s just one example, there are tons of ways comfort and self-sabotaging relate.
Relationships fail because it’s comfortable and you sabotage it
Not that it’s ever truly comfortable, but the scary feeling that goes with getting your needs met starts to become dull.
People are not used to things that start to feel a certain way, they are bound to create reasons that it shouldn’t be this way.
Eventually, their mind starts to agree with them and they begin looking for problems. This can also be called Knit picking about the other person.
Annoyances are from you developing a thought about an action somebody else does. It annoys you when you see it happen, or hear it happen.
Somehow you have begun to track and take notes about these types of behaviors and it’s your way of becoming less comfortable than reality would dictate.
Before you know it you have become the crazy ex and don’t even realize why.
Let’s make sure you understand what self-sabotaging means
This can be a giant revelation to you if you hadn’t ever thought about how you ruin your own life. Self-sabotage means that you do or say things that destroy success or happiness.
It occurs when you have begun to gain something right at or above a certain level that is comfortable to you. When this event happens you don’t feel worthy, your subconscious mind steps in and takes over.
Out of nowhere, you have systematically gone through everything in your life that was starting to improve and made sure that it’s no longer moving in a positive direction.
It is your way of staying in a certain comfort zone and anything else is considered beyond your capabilities. Another way to say this is that you don’t think you deserve to be happy.
Or you don’t deserve to be successful because of some justification or excuse. This is what life is like for you and it’s something that repeats over and over until you learn to stop it on your own.
Where did self-sabotage come from?
Knowing what it is will help you learn how you can stop it, but first, you need to know exactly where it comes from and why you’re like this.
This is something that you have been taught and it’s not something you were born with. Time to journal, and figure out who you learned this from and what exactly it was that you were taught.
When I did this for myself I immediately thought about my mother and how her own fears, anxieties, and beliefs were a huge influence on me.
This even went a bit further back to her mother my grandmother who was also more of a neurotic type of person who always worried about everything and everyone.
I am also sure that it most likely goes even further back beyond those two factors but it was a great place to start. Now you need to track things down but remember there is no benefit in placing any kind of blame on anyone.
Doing that is just gonna make things more severe, and create way more work for you to do. The good news is that if you have been reading through my blogs up till now, you will already know how to get to work on things.
What you need to do is to pinpoint any big examples of these irrational thoughts sticking in your mind. Once you have that done, you then need to understand that you’re not a victim.
You had just as much of a responsibility in learning these things as your parent did in teaching them to you.
Acceptance of these false beliefs, worries, or anxieties will help to release you from them. But it’s not a simple action that does this. It’s forgiving yourself, and them for what your childhood was like.
The key here is that you acknowledge what happened, accept it as having been necessary, and then decide you no longer need it.
What are the benefits of holding onto these beliefs?
Ask yourself what is the point of keeping these beliefs around, write about what they may have been for and what you found useful.
Then once you have done this, write about why they no longer serve a purpose for you and how you can believe in something which is more helpful and more beneficial.
It’s not just about the old going into the new for your beliefs it’s about taking those old ones, removing them, and creating new ones with actions that you can do to change your life now for the better.
For anxiety, do something to challenges it on a daily basis. This could be something like what I did, and that’s learning to build a website.
This created the need for me to post my thoughts on a consistent basis for other people to see and hopefully learn from.
But there are many beliefs so there will be many things you need to do to resolve those old and useless beliefs now.
Some examples of things you could do:
- Learn a new language
- Learn a new skill
- Figure out a passion
- Figure out something you can teach
- Challenge yourself with a new social activity
The point is to give up your comfort zone and try to do things that kick you in the azz from time to time.
Commit to it and practice it on a daily basis until it starts to become a habit.
After that, you want to introduce yourself to another activity that makes you uncomfortable and challenges your fears, worries or limiting beliefs.
The more you can disprove all of them the easier it will be to gain confidence in everything.
By continuing this approach to life you will be very capable of doing anything you want and not get bored. You just need to remember that believing in yourself no matter what is worth it and it’s how you gain fulfillment in life.
Here are some ways to destroy your self-doubts
Learn about meditation or yoga and practice being in the present moment. This will create more chances to relax and eliminate a busy mind.
There are many great ways to get started, one of the simplest is to focus on your breathing as you sit in quiet. This lets your mind acknowledge the thoughts you have and then bring your focus back away from them.
Over time, you will develop a system that removes the negatives and replaces them with positives that show you proof that you can do exactly what you are wanting to do.
There is also hypnosis, this allows you to focus on a very specific worry or doubt and take it from a problem to a motivation in the matter of no time compared to other techniques.
The problem here is that you have to believe in hypnosis working or your mind will not be willing to change. It’s also why people have trouble listening to guides or mentors.
They struggle to remove the negatives and to adopt an open mind to everything. Having an open mind doesn’t mean you accept the crazy and the foolish things but you are willing to hear them out and then decide.
It’s the same idea that you can learn from mindfulness, you listen and don’t judge. You accept things because they exist and it doesn’t matter whether it’s right or wrong.
Journaling in case you have missed my first recommendation is the best single solution to get started with any of the problems you have with your thinking or thoughts.
When you give yourself a time and a place to let things out or let things go, it’s going to start to remove some weight that you feel you are always carrying around with you.
It’s also a great tool where you can expand on your ideas, thoughts, and interests in a place that saves them instead of possibly forgetting about them completely.
Recapping what you know about comfort zones and self-sabotage
I have much more to say about self-sabotage but I wanted to give you the best of the best first. This will allow you to start working on something right now today and see if you can improve.
There are many ways that you could sabotage yourself and it’s something you have learned from the big time people in your life.
The more people who influenced you early on and even throughout your education, the more changes you may need to make.
Fortunately, all of this is simple to do and after doing it a couple of times the rest will become much easier to identify and adjust to.
What I want you to know about comfort zones is that as much as you and I may like to live in one, they are not beneficial unless you are just completely set in your life and don’t want anything else.
Having no desire or wants means you probably are ready to die and that is the way to achieve perfection. Look for my next post because it’s going to be different than the terrible ways a comfort zone hurts you.
Instead, it will be ways to overcome self sabotage by taking a closer look at yourself.