You’ve probably noticed that you hesitate when you fail to come to decisions quickly. But have you ever wanted to know why it’s consistently happening to you?
The secret to overcoming hesitation stems from within your mind and it’s only possible to solve when you are willing to become mindful and self-aware of how it’s happening.
Sounds pretty simple right, you just watch yourself and pinpoint what is happening right before you hesitate. But did you realize it’s not as easy as it seems?
To start, you will need to track all the different ways it happens. This can be done by making recordings of yourself and re-watching them to see if you can remember the challenge.
It’s also a possibility that you don’t really want to make that decision and this hesitation is a way for you to stop it. That is because you don’t want to face what will happen once the outcome is real.
Of course, there is a lot that you can think about and blame because hesitation is an area that brings to life many excuses which keep things the same as they were.
I noticed some results when I was searching for answers to this myself. A lot of the same kind of information saying that you have to face your fears to overcome the challenges instead of avoiding them.
While this is true it’s not really the secret to solving anything but each fear. After basically running myself around in circles trying to figure out why the same fears kept coming back up I decided to find out why.
The secret really does dwell in your childhood
I want to share with you what my life was like as a child before the age of seven years old. Confused and unsure about life because there was no consistency anywhere I looked.
Each new environment would lead to more new changes and I developed a state of mind like many that say change is bad. This builds up from a simple base and becomes a full-blown hatred toward change.
Everytime that it comes up my mind tells my body not to do anything that will allow things to transform unlike they should. So I get stuck in the same place for eternity or until I get more information about the reasons I hesitate to make the changes.
Because I write in my journal all the time I have retraced many of the steps I have taken in my own life. This makes it easier for me to look back and try to figure out my state of mind at that exact moment.
You know what the weird thing was, it’s always about something changing whether it’s with a relationship, a job, my body, my health or something new that I thought I had to learn.
This says a lot about the other challenges that get in the way of living a life that you want. The reality is that your mind has been trained to slam the brakes on you and to build a bank of excuses to justify not taking actions.
Things will compound one on top of the other as long as it means that nothing significant gets changed and when there is a change which must occur, there will be no actual progress made. Instead, you get an illusion of yourself attempting to try something new.
This illusion is your mind giving up but taking back at the same time. Think about one step forward and two steps back. That is what your mind is trying to accomplish and you won’t even realize it’s happening until you get completely stuck and feel hopeless.
There is even a sicker trick that happens because you’ve probably heard it over and over that everyone blames their parents or somebody else for their terrible childhood. While this is a part that almost everyone can come up with excuses it’s a reality for you.
Because there is a mindset that involves not wanting to grow up. This is something that even has a name “peter pan syndrome” believe it or not.
Changing from inside takes effort
It’s not just a matter of being willing to try that makes the work run circles around you, but it’s also the defense system that lies within yourself.
To break it down you have to understand where it’s stronghold actually is located. For me, it’s from my mother who was great at pushing the fear buttons. She could set in a guilt trip with little effort and keep me from making progress.
They say even after you cut the apron strings this is still with you because the memories of those guilt trips stay with you. Bad news for anyone who is a mama’s boy or who can’t put any distance between themselves and their parents.
Usually, people rebel against the authority because it’s a good thing. When there isn’t a reason for a rebellion your home becomes a place you subconsciously never want to leave and it’s also why you hesitate to make your own decisions.
But wait, there is even more that you will want to learn because they say knowledge will prevent the fears from reshaping into other forms later on as well.
To start to get your life back in the control you need, there has to be a plan set up for you to eliminate that dependency you hold onto inside your mind about a place you never wanted to leave.
How to become hesitation free?
Because you hesitate when you secretly don’t want to change something it’s known as having a fear. Now, there are several fears that this can include but the biggest one is about success.
This hits you right where it hurts and takes away a lot of self-worth. When you consistently doubt yourself it makes you hesitate. When you don’t think you deserve better then you have, you hesitate.
I hope you can see where this is going, there are many fears that develop because you allow yourself to be indecisive. To remedy this you will want to develop courage or learn to trust your instincts.
Easier said than done I know because it will take dedication to trust yourself. It will also take confronting your fear to start to understand there is nothing to be afraid of.
To transform yourself into something different starts when you admit you have this challenge. Staying the way you are right now led to becoming more afraid of making other decisions later on.
Or it’s like I said above it becomes a one step forward two steps back formula that will slowly take you down even further than where you started.
Before I conclude this post, I wanted to leave you with one last tip. That is in order to start and overcome these limiting beliefs you have you will need to understand more about yourself.
That is the secret to overcoming hesitation, learning to understand yourself and then you can start to make the changes by becoming aware of them.