Whether you have big plans in business or life in general, you should always be focusing on how well you feel about yourself. To understand why you are the number one priority, you must first look at what you want.
Needs, desires, wants, and everything else stems from the amount of love you have when you think about yourself. This has been the missing link in my life up to the last two years of it.
Slowly, I have found many ways to bring myself from the very bottom of the list to the top, where I belong. How have I done it, you may wonder, that will be the focus of this post.
Before we get started, there are a few general ideas to explore but they will be quite helpful for the rest of this. The first idea is the concept of putting your needs ahead of others.
The second is putting your emotional health, above your relationships, and the third is how you will ultimately be in love with you.
So, sit back and get comfortable because we are about, to begin with, the first idea.
Priority Number One – You Need Things That Only You Can Provide
Often this is the most painful part of admitting you haven’t lived up to the person you thought you would become. That is because you haven’t sat down and really asked yourself if you are doing your best to meet each need.
Today, I want you to make yourself a promise, to stop ignoring your own needs. It may be something you hear often but that is because it is life or death.
Did you know that when you are not getting your basic needs fulfilled that nobody around you is typically going to be of much help? They will simply be distractions which trick you into feeling better or perhaps thinking you are doing what you have to.
Then, once you are alone again you start to feel uncertain. This happens because the truth is that you don’t know yourself well enough to be alone.
Fear takes over and often it’s followed by memories of past mistakes. This creates a death trap because you know you can’t avoid being alone with yourself, you know that it happens too often.
So, sometimes the only way to enjoy anything is to go back to that trick which is to get other people to talk about how things are going for them.
This will let you off the hook for a little while. You might even hear yourself wanting to say take me with you, I am afraid of myself.
I first became aware that I was experiencing this when I tried to get sober. I was alone with my body trembling and my mind in constant pain.
All those thoughts came up when I wasn’t drinking, even when I would drink for that matter. I could distract myself as a drunk with any video, game, person, or situation.
Nothing mattered as long as I had a way to escape being me, that is the most eye-popping thing. Since childhood, I struggled with the idea of growing up and becoming something.
To this day, I am not positive about why, but I can assume it’s because I had terrible role models who made everything look miserable.
Call it a curse or a blessing because it’s family and what can you do about that right?
Anyways, so things got trickier as I got older and I hadn’t been very good at picking up on certain things. I always seemed to feel more like myself when I was alone, but I didn’t like who I was when it happened.
I would come home and have nothing to do so this was the trap that kept me looking for distractions. I wasn’t able to learn why I needed other things to occupy my mind.
For a long time, I was capable of doing tasks and feeling proud of the completion of them. Usually, it meant getting grades which meant winning a certain amount of approval from others.
Helpful or harmful?
To me, it was the first one but in reality looking back it was more harmful than good.
Challenge number one – How do I make up for a lack of the correct information?
Thinking about the reasons I had for doing the things I did would end up making me super confused. On one hand I liked when other people had congratulatory things to say, but on the other hand, if I didn’t receive the recognition for the things that I felt I deserved, I would be checking off another shortcoming.
Win/Win, no it was always lose/lose because I wasn’t mindful of doing things for a real purpose. That purpose needed to be for my skills and my own needs.
Priority One Part Two – My Thoughts Had To Become Who I Wanted To Be
Whenever those thoughts kept me from moving toward a promise that I had to make myself it would end very badly. That means I would usually just keep on using other things to distract me so that I could feel like I was happy.
The mistake is to think you are happy when the truth is you are just occupied. The lies start to stack on top of the truths and the emotions blur things quite significantly.
So, I would label things fun based on how much time would pass when I would keep myself busy doing them. Even to the point when I was drinking it would be an easy escape rather than doing other things far more difficult.
It was, in fact, obvious by the time I was enrolled in college, that what I was all about was wasting time to fool myself. I can easily look back at those times now because it’s hard not to when you have taken the time to understand yourself.
At least to the point of knowing yourself and your capabilities much better than back then.
This triggers the idea of wishing I knew back then what I know now… That also can become another distraction in the here and now or the present.
The point is that you or I can make up stuff about ourselves that feel fantastic at any time. But when you become more willing to study yourself and what you actually want, there is a different tale to tell.
So, when I mention emotional well being or health it’s about having the ability to observe yourself and the feelings that are going on at the time.
That way you can see the difference between pretending to be happy, versus the actual goals you wish to achieve. Once you make that distinction between the two parts you then have to decide what is going to be sacrificed.
So, the sacrifices will be the things you believe you enjoyed before but were merely just illusions. Fake feelings are much simpler to remove which also makes sacrificing those things more logical to do.
What this means to you is that entertainment does have a way to be both good and bad. It’s due to the amount of time you can get lost in those activities.
Instead of trying to watch television for extended periods of time, you must become willing to shorten that in order to do things you can learn which translates into actual skills.
Create a chart of things you love doing when you want to relax. Create another chart of things you want to do to feel proud about doing.
This will help you distinguish between the obvious good for you and the apparent good feelings you want to utilize each day.
Part two of part two
Earlier I mentioned separating yourself from any and all relationships. That is because you need time for yourself. While that part is plenty obvious the additional guidelines are the essential ones.
What you use that me time to do is the balance you need to establish early on.
When you don’t, you have a chaotic mind that will constantly remind you that you are not good enough, you need to become capable of coaching yourself to do beneficial things.
The actual mind is split into parts one conscious and one unconscious. That means you have things on your mind because your being instructed to think of these things by the other part which is programmed that way.
The commitment that you can make to yourself today is to follow the guidance of somebody who has been where you are at in your life right now. Who has traversed through the chaos and understands how important it is to program the mind correctly.
This is much simpler then it sounds because there are two basic things to learn more about. Mediation being the first because it will help you to improve your control over thoughts, and second is hypnosis to help you program the right specific instructions into your mind.
Priority One Part Three – Programming Yourself To Be In Love With Yourself
First, you have to understand that this is different then narcissism because loving only yourself is where we draw the line. You will be convincing yourself that you are a wonderful human being who is capable of great and wonderful things.
On the side note you will also be convincing yourself that because you love yourself to this great deal, you will then be capable of sharing your true love with everyone who you encounter along the way.
So, you are learning to love yourself because it’s a must and because you want to love other important people in your life because they are just as important as you.
To do this is simply of a matter of looking for ways you are already proud of yourself. Not just already but things you will be doing specifically for this purpose.
That way you have physical and visual evidence in front of you and in your mind that will come up as often as possible. This leads to the creations of both a vision board and a visualization practice.
You absolutely want to do these things because they may seem silly at first, but truthfully work wonders.
In Conclusion, Whichever You Feel Better Using
Priority one is for you to become unconditionally happy and love yourself no matter what or where life takes you. Perhaps you have heard or read about the importance of your belief system.
For those of you who know where I am going with this great, but for anyone who doesn’t keep reading. The idea of perfectionism sounds good on paper, after all, who doesn’t want to be an exemplary human being.
Capable of doing everything better than anyone else. But reality dictates that it’s impossible to become this or you will be met with certain death.
As a human being, there are certain beliefs you need in order to appreciate the life that you have. Without these things, you will become stale and incapable of learning.
Often these are taught to us at the earliest stages in our lives, it’s great when it sinks in but what happens when it doesn’t is the tragedy for many.
You become self-hating and believe that the world is out to get you every time you do anything. So, we must realize that our thoughts are the most important part of our existence in order to set up the beliefs that will guide us to the best things.
That is why the number one priority is how you feel about yourself. When you choose to be easily distracted you will drift in and out of happiness.
This alone will shape your life in a terrible trap of trying and doing things to no ends. Until you sort out your thoughts to determine your true desire you simply won’t have a clue where to go to get better.
That is because you have to become A leader who can coach themselves, which happens when you understand why you love yourself and feel good about yourself.
It will only be possible to suffer until you have found what will make you balanced and full of energy to keep going. Read this until it makes sense and you should know what needs to be done.
Let me know what you think and if you are able to follow along. Next, we will take a look at priority number two.
Thanks For Reading The Number One Priority Is How You Feel About Yourself.