Welcome back, having looked at power, success, and fear in the first two parts of the series.
Today is going to be all about freeing yourself from the anxiety caused by the unnecessary fear you have.
That is why it’s titled overcome fears to become free of anxiety. What type of fears do you have that contribute to most of your anxiety?
For me, it’s new or unfamiliar things which create a large percentage.
In this part here, you will go over the 80/20 rule, which says 80 percent of your anxiety comes from 20 percent of your fears or worries.
This is also going to show that it’s why you must focus on the priorities first because things will immediately improve when you do.
Whenever you go into your mind to figure out where the roots of the issues are you need to gain the most picture perfect examples of how they have proved to be your biggest issues.
To do this you journal, you meditate, you practice self-hypnosis, and you go through hundreds if not thousands of getting to know yourself questions. Right now is going to be a simple but effective activity I want everyone to do.
Start by asking yourself what happened recently that kept you from achieving a result that you really wanted? Then take that and break it down into 3 different pieces.
The three pieces are the event, the characters and the lesson learned. When you are able to do this for a period of time, you can see where you have the most problems.
That will be the twenty percent which you want to start working on right away. To get you going take a look at these tips.
What you do is start by setting the scene, who was there, what time of day, anything that felt different than normal, was the weather good or bad, and why was this important to you on a scale of 1-10.
After getting the scene done it’s time to list your own thoughts about what happened and where you think the problems started.
Write about your comfort level, write about any nervous energy, write about what was happening before you started, after you were involved and what your thoughts were like at the end.
By having these thoughts written down, you can gain a new perspective. Try coming back to each of these thoughts later on after a couple of days.
When you allow time to pass you will be far more likely to be able to observe how your behavior and thinking was a problem.
Now, this third part is where you start to predict what you think became the biggest challenge. Was there another person who got in the way, did you find that you were in your head too much and did anything happen that you know was a mistake?
Noticing patterns will give you a much better understanding before a situation develops that causes you to experience more problems.
The point here is to take all three parts and create a story or a replication of what happened in detail so you can figure out the lesson learned. Then to create this story and take special note of it so that it can be useful later on as a way to prevent yourself from making the same mistake again.
This is how I started to unlock the pieces of the puzzle and to understand how I played a part in everything that happened. It helps you take out that blame, and it gives you a positive way to view a bad experience.
Becoming free of anxiety by learning to make a story
I want to share the main reason to create a story about anything and everything.
This is a wonderful way to utilize your life experiences and to make something that can be shared to engage and change what you see as your self-image.
The value of a story is it usually gets people interested in your life. Sharing things that make you uncomfortable is a great way to gain trust.
Also, a story has a wonderful lesson at the end that can be repeated as a way of teaching others. By showing how your mistakes led you to make positive changes.
Getting comfortable talking about yourself and not taking everything so seriously is one way that anxiety starts to decrease.
When you can be part of a story and become a hero able to overcome something, it helps to build your resilience that other people will not tear down.
This not only creates exciting new ways to branch out and get comfortable socially, but it’s a way to show that you aren’t concerned with the small unnecessary details that other people are terrified of on a day to day basis.
Instead of always being inside your head you are looking at ways in which your thoughts help those around you. Because you have the experience and have already been through quite a lot.
Hopefully, you take this at face value and don’t try to overcome too much too fast. Setbacks are meant to happen and they teach you that progress is a slow and steady part of making a new and better life for yourself.
Freedom comes from within and grows as you show off your life
I really hope that you see how to escape from that life of avoiding others. The life of avoiding people, places, and things that once planted roots deep inside of you like a weed that refuses to die.
Your strongest anxiety and fear is no match when you are the one that goes out of your way to make things public. Instead of letting things eat away at you, it’s far better to release that helpless feeling of being self-loathing.
That feeling of guilt that you are not perfect and that you should always feel bad because of somebody else having everything, while you struggle just to get out of bed each morning.
Going to back to one of the earliest posts I wrote I said then that I was trapped behind a wall of emotions. This wall continued to grow and the illusions about reality were uncertain.
When everything you think starts to become invisible and enters a fog, it’s a guessing game as to what will come toward you. But when you can remove that fog and see that there isn’t a reason to jump out of the way.
Things get much easier and become visible a little at a time. Another way to say this is to think about being paranoid when you can’t control the actions of somebody else you become lost and confused.
Instead of everyone disappearing only to reappear having changed, you just step back and let that fog clear so that you see the entire flow of movement without a fog in between.
This clears up the thoughts of wondering where they went and wondering why they disappeared. Because now you accept that you don’t need to try and drain your mind’s energy about what everything around you is doing all the time.
That it’s really not a complicated thing to change but it starts by seeing things as they really happened instead of telling yourself a made-up theory that never comes true.
Even if the worst case scenario did happen once, that it’s only a worst case scenario because you didn’t try to come up with anything else.
That is because you often get what you seek and that when it’s negative that it’s your doing. Which is why it’s far better to step back and reflect on life briefly to understand and not ignore because your mind jumped to a conclusion.
This is what is meant by being aware of yourself and how being mindful has a major impact on where you are headed.
Mindfulness makes your anxiety non-existent
In the case of worry and doubt did you know that you don’t have to feel either of these and that there are really two different ways to worry about something?
I am mentioning this because one type of worry destroys your mind and makes you crazy.
While the other type of worry will actually help you by keeping you as safe as you need to be.
Don’t think that you need to completely dictate what you worry about just to accept certain kinds of it as helpful and useful.
That way you can acknowledge it and move on to a better thought or a more constructive way to use your mind.
Just like we mentioned a positive and negative type of fear and success in the last part.
Worry and doubts can be looked at that exact same way and it really only requires doing the same things we already know how to do.
The more you understand about yourself the more you know that you are the boss of your life. Mindfulness for anyone that still doesn’t get it is simply this.
Start by looking at yourself in the moment of whatever you are currently doing. Take a look around, feel the objects that are near you, taste and smell if there is anything, and listen.
The easiest thing to do in the moment is to breathe. That only means you check “am I breathing?” and when you answer yes, you are aware of yourself in the present.
By acknowledging that there is a place that isn’t your past or future means that you only have to do what feels worth doing right now.
The point of this understanding is that it doesn’t matter what else anyone is doing.
What matters is that you are taking care of the priorities in your own life right here and right now. By knowing this you cast aside your worries and doubts for just this brief amount of time.
Every second of this consciousness is you being you and doing what you like doing. This isn’t about being fake or trying to do anything for anyone else.
Unless of course, you are trying to practice compassion for somebody that needs you right now.
With Continued practice what you share about yourself becomes amazing
Looking back now at what you did earlier with trying to shape your life by creating stories. The more you can get accomplished also means that the more interesting you become to yourself and others.
By being capable of everything that is truly important and showing by teaching about your mistakes you remove the worry that causes you to panic and be embarrassed so easily.
There is little point about being shamed or feeling guilty when I am able to create a far better version of that exact experience and use it to everyone’s advantage.
Ever wonder what the secret is to public speaking? It’s knowing what you can talk about beyond a doubt and knowing that you can control an audience just because they allow you to.
Every story that you share about yourself, lets another person know you are fearless. The way you move around, the gestures you make and the eye contact you spread around to each person sitting there.
Let’s them know you want their attention and that you know what you are talking about. This confidence isn’t hard to gain because it’s easy to learn to be present.
Notice the one thing in common? This is all done in the present moment and it’s not spent worrying about what anyone thinks or will say to you after your done.
The audience already understands that anxiety that comes from worry and doubt or from shame and guilt, which also make the best stories.
And when you can string a presentation around those types of things that will captivate other people you become highly sought after.
This works just as well to motivate you to go out and to actually try to make more mistakes so that you can keep building more and more stories and share more and more experiences that continue to help others.
Before we conclude this let’s re-examine what has happened
Problems ABC or whatever you want to put down as your problems. They are easy to solve once you have the knowledge and are willing to look for solutions.
But don’t worry I already know all of this and how it works so you can be rest assured I am going to teach it to everyone who is willing and has a desire to change themselves for the better.
Stories come from your life and they live in your mind. You need to just spend a bit of effort to relive each of those moments to extract the most valuable information that actually happened.
Reflecting on each and every experience you will understand so much more about yourself and be able to take any questions that come up and answer them in a way that entertains, informs, and creates a positive feeling in yourself.
These stories will keep you seeing things the way they really are and that even the silliest mistakes are just stories that need to be told.
This then becomes a mutually beneficial way for you to live and to keep testing your emotions and feelings to go out and make mistakes on purpose if you like.
Since you know now that embarrassment is just a lesson in disguise and that it’s really not worth the time or energy it consumes, you can free yourself from the anxiety it brings with it.
After you dig just a little bit deeper you can use all of this right now and have a wonderful experience each and every day because you fully understand how to be mindful and to live in the moment.
I hope all of this makes sense and that you have understood why stories will help you change your life this way you can overcome fears to become free of anxiety.
Let me know if you need any further explanation and all the best to you.