When you are ready to meet that green-eyed monster face to face what weapon should we be packing? Knowing full wellit’s difficult to just be happy for somebody else.
How to overcome jealousy in a monumental way is all about how to get prepared before you see it creeping up.
We will get to the weapons in just a minute, but for now, let’s understand what jealousy really means.
Before we can overcome jealousy we need to understand it and to do this we need to make sure we go over all the possible ways it affects us.
For everyone who suffers there are countless ways, we can feel envious of somebody else. These ways do very little to help us improve our lives.
The average person wastes a lot of energy obsessively thinking about what other people have that they don’t have.
This continues to damage our self-esteem and self-value because we don’t feel we can ever measure up to others.
As a result, we forget to keep our focus directed at where it’s most effective. That is toward improving our own lives and moving in the direction of personal growth and self-love.
Understanding what Jealousy means
Jealousy is what happens when our perception of somebody else’s life is greater than our own. This stems from a fear of feeling inferior to another person.
This fear is no different than being ashamed that we are incapable of achieving the same exact thing which we think we want.
The want leads us to a belief that we are not good enough, that we are not smart enough, we are not attractive enough and that we cannot possibly gain the things that we value which another person has gotten.
All of this comes to us almost immediately when we see something that is a want or a desire. Over time when these wants start adding up and piling on top of our self-esteem.
We become disinterested in trying to achieve things because we have talked ourselves into believing they are not gonna be possible. Why?
Being jealous or getting upset is our mind telling us we should feel bad. We get dragged down time and again because we don’t know how to stop these ridiculous thoughts from happening.
As kids we see something on tv and immediately want it because the ad convinces us it’s the greatest thing ever to come out. We then ask for it and are told no, and let go of the idea.
That is until we see other people that have it. Our situation changes again back to the ad we have inside our minds convinced that it’s so amazing we are stupid not to find a way to get it.
For some of us, we may go back to the person that told us No, and beg and beg for it. For others (who are willing to steal it) we create destructive ideas about taking it from somebody.
No matter how we eventually got it, we at some point get tired of it. This hopefully leads to shame or guilt. I say hopefully because some people have no problem stealing.
For those who don’t find it wrong to steal please stop reading this now…
The rest of us will be able to continue because we are capable of developing a skill/ability that is required to overcome anything. Sorry to say if you’re still reading this thief, then you are just wasting your time.
To overcome jealousy we absolutely must develop compassion. Why?
What is Compassion
What does it mean to feel compassionate? The most common way to identify this feeling is to say putting yourself in somebody else’s shoes.
Which really doesn’t do anything to tell us how to do it.
Since we aren’t taught this in school despite hearing the word many times. Usually, it’s something we are expected to somehow figure out along the way.
Sadly, unless your parents are both compassionate people chances are you didn’t develop this ability as a child. Perhaps you started to work on it later on in life but have you understood what it actually truly is?
What ways are there to practice compassion
Can we just say today I am going to practice being compassionate and have it start happening? Or must we be willing to start working on it with a few actions each day?
For those who guessed the second option, wonderful job.
Here are a few ways to practice being compassionate:
- Listening to other people when they talk to us – Not just trying to hear what they are saying, but giving them your undivided attention so that you are not preparing a response and thinking about yourself and how you look.
- Responding to them and the emotion behind what they have said – This will take a bit of trial and error to figure out whether they are angry and concealing something that scares them. They could be blaming you or somebody for a shameful or guilty problem they have. Whether they are sad and trying to make up some awesome experience they have just had.
- Circle of friends, family, acquaintances, and others – Compassion is difficult to have if you aren’t a part of some system that is showing you how it feels. All people need to have the compassion to feel like they are being heard. If this is something you are lacking, make a priority to start trying to find a top 5 people to go to for help.
- Giving credit to people as a whole – Make sure you see the person in their entirety and not just in a negative way. What are their strong points or how are they able to demonstrate some type of positivity. Try not to overlook anything and realize it’s harder to do when you are dealing with acquaintances that you don’t know all that well yet.
- Transform yourself into the person you are dealing with – This is where putting yourself in someone’s shoes comes from. You want to mentally jump into an experience you have had that is similar to theirs. Suffering is something we have all been through so we already should have plenty of experiences to visualize and draw emotion from.
- Remember to love yourself and have compassion for you – Not every situation is going to be within our capabilities. Don’t bring yourself down because you couldn’t quite feel for and with any particular person each time. We all have to love ourselves when mistakes or failures happen.
Knowing about these will help us be prepared to practice, but nobody can be perfect. Over time we will get better and be able to offer higher degrees of compassion.
How meditation can help with jealousy
Right along with transforming yourself to be in the moment, simple meditations will enhance this ability. Give yourself time to focus your thoughts and experiences to see how you can better understand.
Because this is something that is truly mutually beneficial it’s also going to indirectly and directly help us improve our own feelings and emotions.
One way is when we look back and are grateful for the experiences we have had that day. We practice compassion to relieve our own problems but we don’t do it because of that.
It’s the same as giving something without expecting anything in return. This will make us feel better because it is just a result of what we did and can’t be helped.
Meditation that starts while focusing on some jealousy you have, brings you back to a moment when your desire for something didn’t matter one bit.
You didn’t care what you had or would get in return. It’s based on this that we can remove any type of jealousy that comes up by just thinking about others and how to help them out.
How To Tell If you Have Compassion
One question that comes up, is people asking how to tell whether they are already compassionate or not? The simplest way to tell is to look at yourself and your day to day activities.
Chances are that if you’re reading this, you have been dealing with some type of jealousy. That is one indication that you haven’t figured out how to be compassionate enough in your life.
For a few other ways, sit down and really go over these areas:
- Make sure you are able to identify things in common with people. Chances are when you have the same kinds of interests and do the same type of activities you will be able to remember an experience just like theirs(or close to theirs).
- Be there for others whenever you are needed. Having someones back because they are in a tough situation and staying by their side.
- You don’t stand for confrontations but you will not back down either and allow for any harm to come to people.
- Your needs are important but they can wait when somebody else needs you.
- You will realize that money is nice to have but it’s not the reason behind your motivators. Money or other gains which are considered selfish and unhelpful don’t allow us to be present for other people. Chances are that you are only focused on how you can benefit yourself and you forget to live in your community. As your bank account grows, compassion usually declines.
- You take action because you are empathetic with people. Some examples are to give generously to non-profits or to the homeless. You are also willing to donate your time to make sure people are getting the help they need to stay alive.
- Find a way to make the other person comfortable and even do some tasks that you know they hate doing.
- You are kind and loving toward yourself. There is one way to become compassionate that is an absolute must. That is to do it towards yourself first and really get great at it. Before we can ever help another person we must first be willing to show that same unconditional love inwards. It’s then and only then that we understand how to reach out and make a difference in the lives of others. Self-love directly leads to Self-compassion so we must have it!
- Giving back to others what we know. Teaching people without wanting anything in return is one of the best ways to show ourselves we have learned to be compassionate. In fact, it’s like giving somebody all of our abilities because we know they will go forward in life to achieve their own dreams. And because we are in a spot that we can be generous our Pay it Forward actions keep spreading.
- Live for the present moment. Being mindful of the world we live in allows us to grow. Our energy isn’t being wasted because we understand what is happening and can offer help to those who need us the most.
- You won’t be somebody who keeps things bottled up and knows how great it is to let things go.
- Open minded but understand that other people have just as much right to believe in the things they want to.
- You inspire others to be at their very best.
- Realize that all knowledge is important and try to make things as easy to learn as possible for those who need it.
- Developing a high Emotional Intelligence. By understanding everything we can possibly experience or have experienced gives us the best chance to offer compassion. This one ties into four about loving yourself and knowing yourself.
- Practicing Gratitude and being capable of understanding how we should be thankful for everything we have or have gotten and learned.
Let’s refresh on what we have covered here
One of the best ways to appreciate life is to learn how to overcome emotions that make us feel negative. Jealousy shows up because we haven’t taken the time to develop our superpowers yet.
There is a weapon that anyone can possess and it’s called compassion. By understanding how to use this we are then capable of caring for people as a whole.
This includes ourselves because unless we know how to unconditionally love ourselves and practice self-compassion, we cannot help other people effectively.
Doing everything in this article will benefit everyone because it’s a win-win scenario. We care about others because we are cared about as well and the cycle will continue infinitely.
The importance of everyone gaining all these wonderful and fantastic abilities is to end suffering as we know it.
How to overcome jealousy in a monumental way? Learn to be a more compassionate person by taking the time to experience what it feels like and how you can spread it to others.
Thanks for your time and share this around to start loving yourself and others the best of your capabilities.