Once you have gotten to know yourself better what should be your next steps? How to focus on yourself and not others takes an in-depth look at what needs to change.
When talking about making any changes there are certain factors that come into play.
For change to happen, one of these will include how we spend our energy and what our focus truly is.
These changes can only start when we stop complaining and blaming other people for our past experiences.
This means we need to focus on where we fit in.
When did you become irresponsible and decide your own problems didn’t come from within?
After all, these are our problems and our emotions.
Not somebody else telling us that we should be this or that. We accepted them without any doubts or thoughts otherwise.
Understanding where we fit into each experience
Part of blaming is that we don’t think about ourselves being a part of the problem. We think that because somebody else made a statement confidently, it must be true.
When we allow this to repeat and stick we have given up the chance to challenge them. They took the power away from us because we just stood there and watched it happen.
Reflections led us back to the bad memories where things happened and now we feel shame or guilt. We didn’t do anything to make a different result occur so it’s here we begin to believe that somebody else was at fault.
They did it to us, They did it in spite of us, They didn’t give me the chance…
When in reality…
You didn’t do something, you believed they were against you, you stood by and watched them…
One of the hardest things to overcome may just be perception and figuring out how we truly look at events that take place.
This is a nightmare only because I call it a nightmare, I could just as easily say it’s weird or it’s unusual. But I choose a specific name to call it and then I place a meaning on top of that name.
You need, want, have to, desire, demand, and ask for many things but do you actually take the action that is required?
When our Focus and Perception are faulty
People may never wake up or when they do feel it’s pointless to go back and change what happened. They decide that it’s going to be too difficult, but why?
We want something but don’t really desire it if we have to work for it.
We are afraid of what will happen, about what our lives could become and that somehow we have only one chance to get it right.
That means we won’t waste our time or focus on something that can’t possibly go right and improve our lives.
We believe the strangest things without having any evidence to do so.
Mistakes happen and achievements don’t take place without some risk.
Improvements shouldn’t be made before something is old and unstable. Or should they?
Changing a belief is no different than changing from an older car to a newer one. It’s all about perception though.
Unless you totaled the old car you can probably still get more use out of it.
The exception would be if it costs more to keep than replace.
It’s the same with beliefs, we shouldn’t keep old limiting beliefs because they will cost us something as a result.
Changes are happening every second
You may not notice but changes happen on a scale much bigger than anything we can perceive. That is due to the fact our minds only take in so much information.
What we learn about our minds is that we have but little energy to focus on anything we do. We can either spend that energy worrying all about what could happen.
Or we spend that energy trying to make things happen. Shouldn’t you be the one deciding how? How these changes are gonna move us forward, and what it will do to benefit yourself.
Worried all the time prevents us from doing what will likely help us and others.
For myself, I decided that I wasn’t gonna stay in the worried and paranoid mindset I was living and look for help. What started with a simple question such as Who am I?
Has led me to figure so many wonderful things out. This didn’t start as a major thing which I even understood. I just got fed up enough to desire something better.
Don’t you believe that what is fair for yourself is to try?
Important realizations need to be made!
Everything is a choice which leads to consequences. One way to live life is to fear the consequences and be miserable
all the time.
The other way is to accept that a consequence can be a positive change you make. We can remove the word consequence and call them results.(choice leads to results, consequences don’t exist if everything is a lesson to be learned)
When this happens there still is a fear element to positive and negative results. We then decide which is better and for our lesson here we need to know about positive results. (eliminate fears = only positive lessons and benefits are gained)
Positive results come from positive choices which are decided by our actions. We act on something because there is a result we want. (benefit)
When thinking about what happened to consequences we know that the meaning we placed behind the word is usually a negative result. So, we changed it. (fear led to consequences or bad and negative results)
Instead of having something bad happen to us for making a poor or negative choice.
We stopped using the negative word and replaced it with one that promotes a positive meaning. Going forward what happens to the negative word?
Nothing, it’s just a word which leads to another word. Every time you catch yourself saying consequence, you change it immediately to result. ( when there is no fear, no consequences or no bad choices we gain benefits from our actions. Fear, consequences and bad choices no longer exist and those words end up meaning nothing)
This way we understand a result occurs when something good happens. To do this we also need to prove it with a few examples.
The example does not come into play without the choice and therefore there are no negative results without thinking that something is negative.(consequence means we need to stop and think about results)
That then tells us if every choice we make is positive we no longer worry about any meaning other than positive because all other words mean nothing.
What are the criteria we look for to make changes?
Any part of our lives that are negative tells me I should remove it because it means nothing. I am only gonna do something that means I will benefit in some way, therefore positive things are the only things with any meaning.
My past becomes only positive, my present positive and anything in the future must be positive as well. But what else changes when we do this?
Positivity becomes my only criteria to live by. This becomes my #1 Core belief and I can now work to remove and replace the negative words from everywhere inhabits within my mind.
How to focus on yourself and not others? We clean up what we think about when a choice is made. Instead of basing our thoughts on fears and consequences, we look for results and benefits.
Because we know which words to eliminate now we just replace them every time we catch ourselves thinking about a negative word.
That takes away all the meaning of all the negative thoughts we have and with a solid ritual or routine in place. We eventually are cured of our negative way of thinking.
This also means we have no need to complain or whine about things because everything that happens is a positive result.
Anyways that took a lot of energy to write down because I had to think while I wrote it.