Anyone who has difficulties relating to other people knows that it can be tough to have a conversation. But how to be interested in other people is a process we all need to learn.
It will be of great value for us because we are clearly wanting more out of life and we really need to make it a goal to learn to care what other people have to say.
This is different than thinking you know what they have on their mind because it’s actually got to do with the way we get comfortable and listen to them.
We are pretty quick to base things on past problems so this will come with a higher learning curve up until you get used to it.
What does it mean to really listen to somebody?
We have already gone over a basic understanding about starting a conversation, for anyone who missed it please follow this link.
But now it’s time we make a real effort to include listening to what they are actually saying to us, and what their body is telling us as well.
I started to wonder what then do we actually need to know to be a part of the conversation outside of our own speaking. This is the part as a shy person I found I was actually already above average at.
Being there to listen requires that you don’t allow any distractions to get in the way of your ability to understand the other person. This is done with some practice and patience because it isn’t always easy to find what is being said interesting.
You don’t want to be fidgety or acting aloof because the other person will notice these things. But you do want to be respectful and maintain a good amount of eye contact while nodding at times.
There is also an issue about what we should be doing inside of our own minds. Do we try to repeat each and every word they say as they speak, or do we try to figure out what the idea is that’s being brought up?
I couldn’t find a great answer to this and the only thing to conclude was you should practice with each word and hope you just somehow understand the idea.
No interrupting and no asking questions
As we have discussed being a good listener is not something everyone does. For anyone lacking experience, you may want to practice with family.
This will let us figure out how we are behaving and then help to guide us when it comes to strangers. Part of getting used to listening is knowing when and where we should ask a question.
When and where we should interrupt if ever, and how to avoid being a disrespectful listener.
Some of the tips for listening include not thinking about what to ask so there is no chance to be disruptive. Giving your full attention to the person speaking.
Instead of just thinking about what you will say when it’s your turn to speak.
We need to show everyone we speak to the same kind of respect regardless of the setting so you will have to actually figure out what really works best for you.
Practice and learn about any of your own weaknesses in regards to listening.
Moving past tips into the types of listening
Before we can fully understand what is meant by being interested and listening.
We need to look at the different types of listening we may have already learned about.
How they all differ with what we are trying to accomplish here.
Each kind of listening depends greatly on two types, descriptive listening, and communicative listening.
This is really just the formal vs informal when you look at both deeply.
You may not really need to show your best friend the same kind of focus and attention as you would a stranger. Because you have already made a good impression on him/her.
Basically, this is going to come down to two other things, how much you care about the other person, and how much you think the other person is gonna care about you.
What this means for a shy person without any training is that we don’t want to be disrespected because it can lead us back into the traps we are working so hard to get away from.
We don’t want to obsessively have to think about people not putting any value into meeting us.
How you go about creating a non-pressure situation to listen and communicate
By challenging yourself ahead of time to get prepared fully for every possible situation. This means in order to have a meaningful conversation we need to learn about everything that is likely to come up.
We then need to be prepared for what people will want to talk about.
This will include having the skill to ask varying types of questions which allow us to gain a comfort level with the other person. We will cover which questions work and which ones don’t in a post later on.
For now, it’s important that we understand everything that we can do to become a great listener. This will make us great at conversations and by doing both things above average or better then most other people it will increase our chances to stand out.
Maybe this part scares you because standing out can be something that isn’t always fun before you have done it countless times.
I can fully understand and that is why I am going to be showing what things I know work and what things may help but I haven’t personally used myself.
Recapping conversation and listening skills
The main point of this article is to gain a quick understanding of the need to find time to practice listening. Finding people at first that will help show us our strengths and our weaknesses so we can map out a plan when it comes to talking to strangers.
Listening requires us to know what our minds bodies and eyes need to do. Also what we should and shouldn’t be concerned about while somebody else is talking.
Once you have a full understanding of the basics it’s time to go over all the parts to become a great active listener.
I will cover active listening later in an article here, for now, these two skills help us gain value, in ourselves and what we already will have in mind about other people.
I want to stress the fact that we will be gaining tons of confidence when all of this becomes automatic.
How to be interested in other people helps us tremendously because without these interactions we will never have any opportunities to become more than we currently are.
Now if you have any questions please ask them below and let’s keep going to the next helpful topic.