How to answer the question who am I and what will make my life wonderful? Lets first look at who is taking this question on because it will make things easier when we start describing ourselves.
Did you know that the way we see ourselves could be completely off base?
Look at yourself in the mirror and try out different facial expressions.
Do you see a difference and did you have one expression that you prefer over all the others?
Think back to picture day in your elementary school days, how many of those images did you like and how many did you wish could be changed?
For my own, I don’t remember liking any of them because I didn’t like much about seeing my own image.
But people are certainly quite different and some people wish they still looked like one or more of those early pictures.
When thinking back to what life was like, do you have joyful memories or painful ones?
In order for us to understand who we are, we must understand the simple process that is called self-discovery.
Self-Discovery – Knowing Who I Am
We all grow into an image of ourselves because it’s not something people generally think about. You wake up every morning brush your teeth and maybe you notice your own image.
Perhaps you are one of those types of people who obsess whenever you see any flaws. And that leads to stress because you take good care of yourself right?
For those of you who don’t, do you really look and care who you see looking back at you? Self-discovery really has nothing to do with our image in the mirror or in a picture.
That is just one moment in time about what physical characteristics we had but in reality, it makes hardly any difference. Skin can be destroyed, bone can be destroyed and what are we left to see?
Discovering ourselves has much more to do with our emotions and our beliefs. Because we may see something absolutely different than everyone else.
Our minds have a limitation about what we allow ourselves to believe.
When I want to know who am I, there is a need to understand what I think is true about myself. How can I ever believe what I see when I hear different things and know from different experiences?
Self-Acceptance is a real challenge for us to start seeing the truths
Think about this for a minute, you know you may not be the tallest or the strongest but you have probably figured out why based on your own acceptance of these facts.
You also know that if you want to be stronger than you will need to work hard to become it. Being taller isn’t something we have control over but still, people will try to stretch themselves because they believe it might work right?
How can we accept one of these and believe the other one? We need to understand ourselves and our weaknesses before it happens.
Can we all understand that to accept something as true allows it to become a belief? What happens when we know something isn’t true?
We challenge it and try to find out how to prove it to be false. The example I know I am not the strongest because I can only lift x amount of weight.
At the same time, I see and know somebody else who can do 2x, 3x, 4x … more. Now this doesn’t mean I am weak, does it?
There is a way to find other people who can’t lift as much weight and there is a way to find people who can lift more than us right?
Only proof matters to us when accepting something as true. But we often listen to other peoples opinions and become influenced based on those.
And we only do that when we compare ourselves to another person. This is why comparisons hurt us so much.
Self-discovery means that we take a look at ourselves in every aspect and ask the question is this a strength I possess or a weakness I need to work on.
Keep in mind there are things such as height which is not worth trying to change. Why? Because it is proven we stop growing at a certain age.
Everything that isn’t proven means we can work on changing it or work on a way to disprove our belief of it being a truth. This is what we must do in order to improve ourselves.
This is the very goal of self-discovery. I look at everything and place a label on it whether I can change it or accept it.
We can break down Self-Discovery into segments
- Sexual preferences – What relationships mean to me based on another persons self-image (gender is part of this)
- Personality Types – There are five distinct factors in a persons personality, which one are you?
- Special Ability(ies) – What comes to us as a natural skill. Something we do easily that other people can’t.
- Strengths – Skills and abilities that we are confident in doing well. Things you do that make you stand out.
- Weaknesses – Skills and abilities you lack or don’t the confidence or experience doing. Things that cause shame.
- Values – Things we would never change about ourselves. My family taught me to be like … So I won’t do it differently.
By looking at each of these we learn quite a lot about ourselves and where we need to focus if we are to change to a different version.
One way to address these early on is to brainstorm how you really see yourself. Once we have gone through them all we set up a starting point and will be able to make a plan of action.
The plan of action is just another way of setting goals to work on by giving a detailed but realistic time frame to get them accomplished or achieved.
Self-assessment is how we answer these segments
We brainstorm everything we believe to be true and then ask how do we feel about this. Is it something I am great at or do I need to improve. If it’s a weakness does it really need to be worked on or can it wait?
The important thing to remember is that you need to be honest and really figure out as much as possible. When done we will know some of our core beliefs.
Core beliefs are similar to a value except it’s something personal we believe regardless of what anyone else may say to change our minds. We can prove it to ourselves.
It can be a challenge if you see a strength as a weakness and a weakness as a strength. It is also okay to have some of them in progress if you truly are working to improve them.
Everything else that is left will be a starting point for our next lesson which is about deep seeded painful or damaging beliefs.
Self-inflicted wounds also are known as limiting beliefs
These are exactly what you would guess because they are the beliefs we have which cause us the most pain, the most problems and the longer we accept them we are only going to keep suffering inside.
Self-inflicted wounds are also the most important ones to work on before doing anything else.
These stand in our way as huge obstacles that prevent growth, prevent learning, prevent taking actions and prevent improving ourselves.
I have mentioned them several times before because it’s permanent damage that we take on the longer these reside inside of us.
Ever wonder why it’s harder to change something the longer you have been doing it? These are the beliefs that leave us scared and bring to our minds thoughts about giving up or quitting.
Things we describe as being difficult or uncomfortable since we are afraid of them. These eat at us every day and become festering sores that spit at us and remind us they are there.
Our only option to get rid of them is to start to change how we see the world around us. Self-love and unconditional love is our answer here.
But to start to love yourself despite the existence of having these wounds sounds even more painful and it’s not simple. Takes time and effort before you can start to feel the difference.
When you wake up you want to be fixed or cured but it’s not happening quickly enough. You must bite down even harder to resist the urges that these create.
How do you practice self-love to remove these wounds?
This is actually quite simple to understand but not so simple to do.
You are the only one that will know of these so it will be up to you to find ways to stick with the actions required.
There are not that many ways to practice self-love but one great way is to journal.
Remind yourself of all the positive things you are capable and remove the doubts you have placed on yourself.
We have to become aware of these to start to talk ourselves out of believing them. That inner voice that is telling you how ugly you are or how stupid that was to do.
Some of these reside deep into our memories and hit us hard visually, that one experience you replay in your mind over and over where you didn’t act soon enough or you wish you hadn’t started doing something.
These can be seeded into being worthless because somebody was killed because you couldn’t help, or you made a mistake.
Learning that these are a part of life and a process of letting things go will be the answer you need to overcome such pain.
Easier said than done, I know because sometimes these are problems we all need to be in therapy for and years go by without out relief.
There is hope because nothing is impossible our minds once were so innocent and pure and we need to realize that we can unlearn things, unsee things and do our best to replace tragedy with joy.
All of this is possible with self-love because you understand that life is meant to be a certain way. You are grateful for every positive you have been a part of and will continue to bring more love to others then pain.
This is what is meant to happen when you say you are sorry for something. Understanding that it isn’t just another word or saying helps to take ownership of the part you played.
Nobody even has to know but you that something has been forgiven or forgotten since it is your love of yourself that matters the most.
We cannot begin to be a better person and be a helpful person until we can love ourselves. This happens because we have flaws, because we make mistakes and that the only perfect thing comes from death.
Understanding our nature and our special weirdnesses
What happens in our lives when we feel weird compared to others?
Once again it’s that comparison about what normal actually means.
This isn’t rocket science to understand that every single person who has ever lived has done or does something that is labeled weird.
The only real difference between what somebody does being called weird and what somebody does that is called normal is the meaning we give to the words “weird” and “normal”.
It is just as easy to start believing that normal means peculiar and that weird means common.
This process of word association and meaning happens every day in our language.
Slang is used to mean something for a specific group of people. It later catches on with a majority and then the dictionary puts in a definition.
So if I label myself as ugly but I change that word to mean flawed but handsome doesn’t’ it sound better. And when I start spreading that around and telling myself I am flawed but handsome I see myself as something very different.
We can even change the meaning of the word flawed to represent what it should actually mean for us. That is up to you to decide but I like to think flawed means almost perfect.
Ugly now means to me I am almost perfect and handsome. We can go further and just stop saying the word ugly because we know it means almost perfect and handsome.
See you have given a whole new meaning to what you actually believe and this will change what you believe over time. Start using that combination of words with an affirmation and once you do it for a long enough time you will believe it.
For any of our other bizarre behaviors or shameful pleasures, we simply accept them as being awesome and nobody can tell me I am not awesome for doing them if I believe it to be a fact.
How can we not love our awesome selves when everything we do brings everyone including ourselves joy and pleasure.
When we really want to learn more in-depth about who we are
This is where the journey starts to lead us to spirituality and what our subconscious mind keeps hidden from our conscious mind.
For this area, we need to learn about mindfulness and meditation.
Even to go a little bit further and start to think about self-hypnosis or hypnotherapy.
These become even more powerful in our journey of understanding ourselves because what happens in our minds is a mystery we usually don’t think about.
To sit in a quiet place and let our thoughts just lead us where ever they want.
Sometimes we will ask ourselves deep questions such as the meaning of our lives or our lives purpose.
Meditation is just relaxing our mind and body
For those of you who are unfamiliar or haven’t tried meditation, you will actually enjoy the calmness you experience as a result of letting yourself just sit there in silence.
I used to believe that this was for the more crazy people out there and that I wouldn’t find anything beneficial in communicating with my mind.
It works great for relieving worry, stress, anxiety, depression and even fear. You simply learn how to use visualization to experience things you hadn’t expected to happen in your mind and let go of your stubbornness.
Being optimistic and accepting an open mind when trying out different things helps to realize that what used to be silly is actually quite beneficial.
People have used combinations of meditation and visual exercise to overcome all sorts of medical problems that science cannot simply explain as of now.
What is even more fantastic is the feeling you get after allowing yourself to start to enjoy it. You will look forward to gaining a 15 min break and treat yourself to this wonderful feeling.
I will mention more about this later on when I can go more in depth about everything it involves.
Mindfulness and the ability to live in the present or in the moment
There is nothing that is hard to understand about being mindful. We often allow our lives to become so distracted that we never see what is actually right in front of us.
Many people who are lost in the past and miserable or who worry about their own future when they really should be acknowledging everything that happens right now.
What is mindfulness? You can do this as your walking around by feeling each of the steps you take. You can concentrate on what you are smelling or what you are tasting.
The sensations you gain by feeling the texture of objects all around you. Just by using your senses more often in your everyday life.
The obvious one is seeing the sights that you usually ignore because you are too worried about where you are going.
Just by practicing one of the five senses each day of the week anyone can start to understand how to be grateful and appreciate the world around them.
There is amazing value in our lives that we simply just don’t allow ourselves to see enough of and then wonder why our lives seem so miserable and boring.
Hypnosis, self-hypnosis or hypnotherapy
Don’t worry this isn’t about stage hypnosis where somebody makes you act foolish or do things that other people will laugh at.
Hypnosis is just allowing your subconscious mind to be influenced by an outside suggestion. You will never do anything that causes you harm while in a trance.
But this is very useful and proven to work on many people who want to change a specific behavior or habit in their lives. Hypnotherapy has gotten great results with people overcoming anxiety and depression.
In reality, hypnosis is just a more focused version of meditation where your focus is on one thing and trying to overcome it quicker than with learning to do so by routines or ritual.
The internet has so many different audios about hypnosis that it’s absolutely worth trying if you have a hard time getting results from any other method.
Hypnosis is one more great way to dig down and figure out the roots of many issues as well.
Self-Inquiry asking yourself every question you think about and then going deep with why
Perhaps the most useful way to know what you really think and believe is to come right out and ask a question. What do you really want to do?
What would be more important to you wealth or love? How long would you allow before you moved on if you didn’t find an answer?
There are so many open-ended questions that you could ask that nobody will ever run out of journal entries. Even if you have to get creative to figure things out.
I have seen lot’s of 100 question posts on the internet, it leads me to make my own just for fun. If you would like to see it check it out here 100 questions.
Hopefully, you see how you answer Who Am I or who I am
I know there are a lot of misconceptions out there because people have opinions and we can’t stop the ones that are not the same as ours.
But figuring out who you are isn’t something that is difficult, time-consuming is a better way to look at it and well worth the time in my own opinion.
I hope this helps you know how to answer the question who am I? Start with anything that appeals to you and dig deep, before you know it you will have your answers and much more.