This journey we are on is all about self-discovery and removing the junk that doesn’t work. In order to overcome our fears, we need to plan for them as they come up.
I have been thriving in my own life ever since I decided to rethink everything I have ever believed.
I had an overwhelming fear of people, places, and things.
Let’s get started with five Tips on how to overcome fear of people, places, and things.
This will guide you through the best ways to deal with your life from today on.
Tip One: Love is the opposite of fear
Contrary to what I had thought about love. I used to believe confidence was the opposite of fear.
Because when I was confident I didn’t allow fear to stop me.
When we allow fear to determine how we are going to act, we give up all of our power to control ourselves.
We become reactive rather than driven.
Our fear tells us what to do and this forces us out of the mindset we need to have for life to make any sense. What happens when you see somebody new?
That voice inside your head starts to go off and yaps at us until we react to the situation. One of the reactions is to avoid going toward the person.
We pretend that nothing can happen if we don’t acknowledge them and this causes our bodies to feel anxious until we have left the area.
This is true for me when I really had to think about what things scare me the most. Overreacting is our defense to try and stay safe from something unknown or new.
How does love change our overreactions?
Back when I loved to drink I would go face to face with my fears in order to get what I desired.
This can be useful to know and will help us to quiet that annoying voice that tells us to be afraid. It comes down to figuring out what we love so we can overcome our fear.
Once we understand that love is this powerful all that is left to do is to figure out how we practice telling ourselves to shut up and do it. Or shut up and take action.
This will make us feel courageous and allow our confidence to increase. Seriously take the time to understand everything you can about yourself so you can find all these ways to overcome the fear.
I have spent too much energy hating people, hating myself and hating the world because I couldn’t understand why I was afraid. My hated came about because I prevented myself from doing what I knew would benefit me.
I didn’t just arrive on this planet and feel threatened from day one. I was just not in control the way I needed to be.
Tip Two: Understand Love and how it impacts our thoughts
First, we must know what is meant by love because our minds may not have the correct information. A great way to define love is to look at nature and see what actually goes on.
We gain a lot of value when we see how animals interact with other animals. They always start off with an emotional response to something strange.
Fear is expressed with emotions and some of the more common are anger, surprise, jealousy, frustration, and anxiety.
When animals first identify another animal they become anxious and unsure of the appropriate response.
This will either go away or lead to a different emotional response. Panic is triggered when anxiety is necessary to flee for safety.
What is triggered when it’s safe?
When you know that the other animal is not gonna hurt you.
Would you call this safety or secure feeling love?
Once we have had several different experiences we can go back and form a belief.
These beliefs will tell us whether it is good or bad to allow a feeling to exist.
Feeling safe and secure in our own bodies is one way to truly be at ease with the present. We surround ourselves as much as we can with this type of feeling.
But what happens when we know we need to consistently jump into the unknown. We get uncomfortable and this safety is removed, what replaces it is an anxiety we have created that tells us to stop and think.
How do we control this anxiety? Medications, avoidance, staying in our comfort zone, drinking, following behind somebody else and it goes on and on.
When we can learn to turn love back toward ourselves, we begin to understand that we are far more capable of staying safe then we initially think.
This is why it’s important to challenge yourself. To go after things that are going to make us love ourselves even more. Things that will get us to face uncomfortable situations.
Just remember you want to start doing it one at a time to avoid overwhelming yourself and causing panic.
Tip Three: Misguided information about emotions
When a safe feeling overwhelms an unsafe feeling we get something that is much greater than emotions. We get love because this is the ideal way to perceive another living being.
People get so tied up in emotions they forget that love isn’t about anything else but a safe and secure feeling.
To be in love with someone really means to feel safe and secure next to them.
We appreciate our fellow human beings because we respect them and what life allows us to do.
What happens to them is no different then what happens with us.
Everyone feels misunderstood or gets carried away by an emotional response.
This happens because they are powerful thoughts that take over and we react in many different ways to them.
As humans, we are flooded with things that are anything but love. In fact, lust is more well known then love which has nothing to do with attraction.
We simply have not taken the time to understand what each emotion actually means. This can be changed by living each day in the present and practicing mindfulness about ourselves.
Knowing this we all should be willing to love everyone we meet that doesn’t harm us. We should also be quick to move away from anyone that causes us to feel pain.
Part of life obstacles is being able to understand as much as we can about this world and about ourselves. This means we have to make time to care.
Too often people get stuck and focus on the wrong things. I love my family but all I ever do is work and I never get to see them and let them know how much they mean to me.
This traps us into a hopeless idea about putting food on the table to make them secure. When the reality is we just haven’t begun to understand ourselves and what makes us capable of the best of our abilities.
For whatever the reasons our minds are made up that we cannot find a better way to provide. And if we try doing something else we are likely to fail.
This irrational thought sticks in our minds and prevents us from attempting anything else. Once this is our outlook we are afraid to challenge it and instead accept our fate.
Life for us is meant to be boring and repetitive rather than creating a new way to see ourselves being exceptional at something else.
Our emotions and our thoughts have trapped us to the point we no longer try to be anything else.
Tip Four: Pleasure and Pain are powerful Influences
Most of us do understand that this is a belief. We don’t need to go looking for examples because when we find pleasure we are not usually experiencing pain.
This, however, can exist simultaneously as some people can get pleasure from certain kinds of pain.
We already know this so how does it help us with fear?
How we define pleasure and pain says a lot about what we are willing and unwilling to do.
When somebody spends all their efforts to avoid pain they often miss out on life’s pleasures.
The same is true by only going after pleasure, we are focused so much on enjoying ourselves and being in the moment that we don’t make proper preparations for our futures.
There is a reason that things make us uncomfortable(pain) and the reasons will be different every time.
Also, we don’t want to predict every moment of our lives to avoid pain because then there is no reason to reward(pleasure) ourselves for doing something special.
This same approach works with avoidance. When I spend all my energy trying to be comfortable, I don’t allow any energy to remain for anything else.
My life will be full of what ifs, and eventually could bring on paranoia. Worry is something we need in our lives but only when it’s helpful.
Worrying about every small detail isn’t healthy and can make our pleasure go away entirely. Somehow every effort we make to remain comfortable has gone awry and all we ever are is uncomfortable so worried about nothing.
When my beliefs are formed incorrectly I assume that pain is dominant over pleasure and that my experiences with pain are the reasons my beliefs are wrong.
Pain and Pleasure are two things that really need to be balanced. Just like everything else we need one to exist so that the other actually has meaning.
Tip Five: Beliefs are customizable
By now I hope this is making sense to you and that you can almost guess where I am headed. Each of us as individuals get to actually decide on what we should believe in.
We don’t need anyone else’s opinions or experiences to be what we use to shape them.
I can fully come to believe that my life is all about pleasure by removing the painful experiences.
To do this we simply need to figure out our fears and work to replace the reasons behind it being a fear.
This is creating new experiences with pleasure.
Pain has its place in our lives and that place is to teach us to become a better person.
Once we have learned the lesson that we are meant to experience we can remove the pain for the pleasure by being grateful we have learned something.
As we work on things we can do many different tricks as well along the way that will reinforce these experiences. Eventually, we believe that life is pleasurable, that life is wonderful and that we are capable of Love.
To Prove these works take a look at your own life
Write down everything you can think of that you love to do. What exactly do you experience? What does your mind start doing when you think about these?
When you notice a pattern ask yourself what else you could find that is like these? Are there people who you think about when you hear the words love and joy?
Do a simple test about yourself, find a quiet spot and just let your mind think about love. Notice the images if any, notice the feeling that runs through your body.
Whether you know it or not, love will find you when you least expect it. Could be anything because the emotion you start to feel is excitement followed by joy and this goes on to become a powerful experience you can write about.
Try doing this exercise if you find yourself having any kind of trouble with love. Write down a list of things you want to love, then list 5 reasons why it’s important.
After you have your list, search for images that represent each reason. This will be used to remind us where we can find this powerful state of being.
Let’s go back to what we have learned
Five tips on how to overcome fear of people places and things take us through the opposite of fear which is love. This will begin to open up our minds to thoughts that are far better than fear.
To understand what love is we must search for what we believe is safe and secure.
Knowing which emotions cause pain and pleasure will lead us to understand what really matters. This will become a guide while we continue to identify ourselves in this world.
After gaining a better understanding, we are able to shape our beliefs in the way we want to live. This will remove the limiting beliefs we continue to hold onto as fear.
Make yourself a vision board, a slide show, a collage or anything that will remind you about love and use it when you need to see reminders.
I like to hear from the readers so please leave me a comment below to let me know if this post helped you or you have any questions.