When I see this title even I want to scream out YES!!
Almost everybody at some point in their livesdoesn’t know what is going on within themselves and why they aren’t enjoying things more often.
Unlike a fake person or one who puts on a brave act, many of us are not able to disconnect from our own situations as much as we would like.
This leaves us feeling unhappy and stuck in life for way too long and without a plan to get past it.
From my own experiences, it wasn’t until I started researching everything I could about myself that I started to figure out many things.
This turned into a full-on personal revelation about what I had tricked myself into believing.
Feeling Unhappy with who I was
The first real eye opener I was able to pinpoint is the need to start a conversation with myself.
This seems a little bit crazy at first because we all know that talking to ourselves can create an alarm if anybody else bumps into us while doing so.
This is just the beginning of understanding what it is that we are truly meant to do and to be happy. Before I continue let me explain what it is I am talking about so you can get on the same page as me.
Being unhappy and being happy are just two types of feelings we all have. These come and go for most people because it’s usually about an outside factor or something that is caused by an uncontrolled component in our lives.
When we start to realize we have all the needed tools within ourselves we can start to make a few simple changes and try to see if that does anything.
One problem with unhappiness is how we react while experiencing it. Lashing out at others or trying to find quick gratifications won’t work because they don’t find the root of the feeling.
When we look for a quick fix we feel great for a brief amount of time. When it goes away we are back to being unhappy and wondering once again what is wrong.
For this type of feeling, we actually have to ignore quick fixes and dig down to what the real problems are in our lives.
Those are typical in feeling unwanted in relationships, undervalued in the workplace, or feeling trapped by circumstances beyond what we think we can change.
All of these things can be fixed when the need becomes high enough to do so, but only can happen when a person realizes they have to commit all of themselves to make the necessary changes.
Problems which make us unhappy and stuck in life
Sure we can go the immediate route as long as we never stop. Pleasure is often used instead of a solution because it’s fast and feels great.
There is another form of pleasure that is the fixed type and that is where the personal choices come into play.
An example of a person fighting to be happy is the homeless guy who has begun to clean up his life.
He has gone through many tough things in which he was the cause of and then, of course, the excuses which led him to blame others.
When we take a look at the story with this man we will understand two things right away. Bad choices led to bad actions and those led down a terrible path until nothing was left to hold onto.
The blame he feels is inward and becomes a very serious destructive endeavor.
He can only fix what is broken when he forgets about blaming other factors and starts to begin fixing that inner blame.
The process to do this is by figuring out his actions moving forward that will lead to a positive self-fix.
As we continue to understand this guy and what happened we know exactly how to empathize this situation.
We can put ourselves in the mind of a complete stranger and all sorts of helpful advice start to come to our minds.
But when we are this man and battling his humiliations, his inner fight or struggles we seem less capable of understanding how we need to fix things.
People will often just say go find a job or get a home. Rather than offer help to strengthen his mind to overcome his once inferior thinking.
They see it all as clear as day for him except they are usually wrong and don’t actually know the demons that once tore this man down to where he is.
That is hardly going to be helpful. Dwelling on the past will never fix anything because staying in the past means taking no action.
Thinking of the present not about the past
Unless we learn how to actually go back in time and adjust our former self, we never will have that option to forget the past either. So the steps this man has to realize and take is to fix himself in the present.
I know it took a long road to get to that point but what did we learn about our own unhappy feelings? We learned that our past doesn’t need to be obsessed about and that our present is where we live right now.
We need to find a fix for the present and that doesn’t mean a quick impulsive pleasure but an understanding of what we actually value. We decide on goals, we make wishlists, we find mentors and we ask for help from others.
When we can find some way to plan out our future a little bit at a time, we understand that those plans are gonna guide us in the right direction.
We gain a reason to be happy, but also a way for us to overcome whatever is making us unhappy.
Because the past happened and something was not perfect, dwelling on it and staying unhappy doesn’t’ bring us any closer to a future where we are happy.
And this is how we gain the motivation to go forward and begin to smile a little bit knowing we have a way out.
Fixing what we believe will take away that stuck feeling
When I envision my future due to my plans and goals, I often daydream about what it would be like.
This is because it’s a fantastic way to enjoy the present situations, goals bring a sense of importance to me and I get an actual rush of happiness when I reach one of my goals.
But what does the process mean we have to really do? We need to know what we want before we can ever plan any goals. This planning removes the stuck feeling as long as we don’t plan the impossible for every goal.
Bigger better and far-reaching goals are great to have for yourselves but only if you place them well ahead of where you are now. I don’t say to myself I want to ride on my own yacht tomorrow and close my eyes and just pray I have one.
What I need to understand and do is to start the planning about how I can get that yacht in 5 years or so. If you are at all confused by this I am truly sorry, I have already gone down the road and started to realize how important goals are to my own happiness.
It’s one reason I knew I wanted to blog about things and continue to do so in order to help anyone who will listen to what I have to say.
I have not only dealt with my own demons but I continue to make the changes in my own life which will open a lot of doors moving forward.
What are the most important tips to take away from this?
Knowing that you must be ready to make the decisions to change. It doesn’t do any good to say yeah I will do it and then to do nothing.
I am unable to help anyone who doesn’t know how to ask for help. If you have trouble with asking then you really need to figure out how you can change that first.
Also, nobody will ever do anything like this for you, they simply can’t because you are the one in full control of your life even when you have doubts about things.
Going head-on into your problems may seem like the worst idea to you because you haven’t learned how to adjust your comfort zone enough to do so yet.
In time, however, if you stay with me and this blog you will not only feel like this is easy, you will understand the full importance of how your life has always been yours to lead.
Not anyone else’s because you can only control yourself. Trying to control others is a battle that leads down a terrible path.
When feeling unhappy and stuck in life, you need to reach out for help especially when your own mind has let you down.