You have made the choice to start working on all your bad thoughts. Knowing that this can lead us down a very anxious road of unknown and misunderstood irrational thoughts we have about ourselves and others.
I am one of those people who need to make lists in order to identify things as they happen. And because of that reason, I feel it is best to have examples of irrational thoughts so that we can help ourselves to know what it is we need to be watching out for.
The best way to identify these irrational thoughts is to figure out what they are, how we use them and when to make the effort to change them to rational ways of thinking.
Irrational Thoughts that mislead our lives
You have probably had a couple of these already today if you are constantly allowing yourself to be unhappy.
This is because irrational thoughts will bring us into a blind state of being.
It’s only us thinking this way which goes completely against the purpose of what we are working toward.
Mistakes – We often see our own mistakes in ways that others don’t care. We think about them as some massive blunder that will no doubt wreak havoc on everyone around us. This becomes problematic because we have to figure out that mistakes happen to everyone and they are never gonna end the world.
To think that we are going to not only cause major unfixable harm because of the tiniest reasons is clearly harmful to ourselves. The way we have to catch this is to simply identify the thinking when it happens, and then realize it is nothing that bad.
One little mistake doesn’t mean I am going to screw up everything I do, it doesn’t mean I can’t do the same task 100 times more and even make it again. By understanding the harm, we are understanding our selves and can lessen the blow.
Disagreements or criticisms – Perfectly normal behavior that everyone has because everyone has a different opinion than us. The point is to allow for a difference of opinion, take all the drama out of it and begin thinking of it as a good thing.
I could be working with many other people and each one of us is likely to have their own ideas on what will work best. The best way to deal with a disagreement is to allow everyone a chance to express themselves and not to feel like we are worthless because our idea didn’t win out.
There is absolutely no reason to blame the other person and think that they are out to get us. Instead of blaming anyone catch you when it comes up so you can correct that way of thinking. Turning it around into a positive will continue to allow us to be better learners.
When we can work well with other people it will allow us to see many sides that increase the way we look at things. Nobody needs to feel bad about an idea or criticism when they are allowing it to happen.
Being liked or accepted by everyone – This one is a bit harder to get into the right mindset about. We all think of a close group of people as something which goes off without anyone being best friends.
What we really need to understand about this is that it’s impossible to be everything to everyone and that means you won’t like everyone, so don’t expect everyone to like you.
Even if this was ever the case it would be so boring to go through life and be too difficult at the same time. I don’t want to have to feel like I need to remember everyone’s birthday on this planet. 7 billion names would be impossible to even write down let alone give a gift for.
For me, If I try to say hi and I don’t get a hi back, I just move on and try not to dwell on it. When you actually think about the most influential people in the world there are always many people that don’t like them just because.
The real goal to have is to try to get to know a few people a day and if you can’t figure out why you will make their life better, maybe just move on till you are friends with people who gladly enjoy the help you offer.
Predicting what other people are thinking and basing our life on that
I am not sure exactly when we decide that our value in this life should ever be determined by other people.
Maybe it is something learned when we look for approval as a baby.
Whining gets us everything we want and we start to think of the people who provide things for us as saviors.
The pain that comes with putting this kind of reliance on any other people is that we don’t learn to think for ourselves, we don’t learn how to treat people, and we don’t know how to evaluate things in order to go after our dreams.
Looking for approval should first meet something we need or want, then we can figure out if it’s gonna be okay to get another person’s opinion about.
Having an assignment that a teacher gives us to do is great for a project but terrible if we think that unless we get an A+++ we have done our best job.
Try to first do things to the point that makes you happy and only after that should you look for anyone else’s input.
As long as your not breaking the laws, or going against a majority when evaluating something you will be fully capable of depending on yourself.
Being a single person and not having a constant mate in life doesn’t make you undesirable
What this means is that you don’t need to be seen as a couple to be consistently happy in life. Some people will allow themselves to think they are only worth what they can give to somebody else.
That means by being single often they must not be a very good person or they would always be with someone. More often people will find a pet that will always be there to love them and even this isn’t a great thing.
Because this is just another way of showing to yourself that you can’t be accountable for your own happiness unless you can keep something else happy and with you.
Critical mistakes happen when we don’t first look inward, we often stop pursuing the things in our life that will lead us to more skills and more opportunities.
There are far more chances to meet somebody great in your life when you are gaining skills that actually increase your self-worth.
Remember those unhappy people will find unhappy people just so they can stick to something and the cure to this is to stop going for anyone who is desperate that includes making yourself desperate when you’re single.
Thinking that only two options are available – Pass or fail, success or perish, up or down. These are all mistaken ways of thinking because it doesn’t give us many options to place any value on what we accomplish.
Having to choose life or death over and over leads to a lot more anxiety about ever trying to do anything. I can’t stand this way of thinking because it kept me from trying so many things. Which then lead me to regret many different choices I made.
Thinking outside of the box in life isn’t doing things the same way as anybody else. We need to find ways to go around some obstacles in order to find the opportunities that will truly create more quality of life for ourselves.
When we stop picking between black or white and chose something else grey, blue, green we are being what we need to be and that is different.
Removing the two option way of thinking allows each individual to be creative and expressive, and by being who we truly are we gain a much better understanding of what we have to offer other people.
Building up our self-value in this manner leads to many beautiful things and whether you want a lot of people in your inner circle or just a few will depend on how you expect things to go in your own decision-making process.
Whining, complaining, or saying things like I never get my own way – This is one of the most negative ways of thinking because if you take the chance to actually write down everything that has gone your way and put that list up against what hasn’t you would think of yourself as crazy.
There is nobody that lives a life that gets everything they want, nobody is perfect so it’s impossible for things to go completely for or completely against anyone.
There are things in life that may not be as likely to happen, but with hard work, most of the goals we make will be achievable.
The point of this is not to whine about something or complain, you are just allowing yourself to hold on to unimportant thoughts which over time add up and damage us.
Perfection is something no person can accomplish
Irrational thinking in trying to be perfect is just another way of setting ourselves up for failure. We can work hour after hour to try and make everything we do absolutely flawless until we see a flaw and destroy all that hard work.
Why is this so destructive? Because we are creating expectations that nobody else would ever place on us.
Learning that trying to do your best is okay doesn’t seem to stick in our heads. We live in a faulty way of trying to learn and in understanding ourselves.
Without a way to correct this thinking, we gravitate toward giving up on life and other things. Imagine if everyone tried to make sure every single thing was perfect, just how much do you really think would ever get done?
It’s very important to catch yourself before you give up because the only way to expand your life and enjoy more things is knowing that nothing will be worth trying to make perfect.
Control that is taken to extreme and justified – What this actually means is that we blame ourselves when anything goes wrong. Why?
Because for some reason we put all the control over a situation on our shoulders and therefore any mistakes and any failures must lead to us being the only reason it didn’t work.
We never learn to think that our instructions could have been delivered to us better or that any of the materials just hadn’t been calculated correctly.
Regardless of the real reason for a failure, it’s always us that takes the blame and this, in turn, destroys any self-worth we have.
Correctly identifying this kind of thinking is another area that is a must to figure out before we truly can learn how to get things done. I blame myself because it rained on the one day I had to …
The takeaway is that we must learn that not all things will be our fault, so stop looking at it like that.
Yesterday was terrible, I have no desire to relive it
We allow ourselves to believe in things because we don’t identify it as just a fluke. We assume that avoidance is the best way to not encounter this situation again. We stay away from everything that we really need to be actively pursuing.
When we take all the blame, we destroy and decide to stop doing things all together, we don’t improve and don’t learn anything that helps us. Random events which happen is something we need to understand as just that.
This includes us because if we weren’t there at that exact time, we think nothing bad would have happened to us or anyone else. There is no rational way to understand why thinking that our own presence made something happen.
If by no action then just us being at a particular place at a particular time made XYZ happen. Another way to justify something like this is to say bad things happen to people who do bad things.
Even if this is just a saying, we start to wonder whether it makes us bad.
Changing this way of thinking might seem unlikely to matter to us because it’s just avoidance so it doesn’t happen again.
The truth is that once this way of thinking enters our minds we start to navigate and think different and that leads us to make black and white choices instead of allowing things to happen just because it was gonna happen regardless.
It’s pointing the finger at ourselves and it’s no better than to assume we exist only to suffer, so we can’t possibly ever be happy regardless of our actions.
These examples of irrational thoughts will no doubt open your eyes to the many flaws we all need to be on the lookout for. When anything enters our minds we can quickly try and replace it with something far more positive.
Remember what our goals are by understanding all of these things. Improving something every day so that we can put a value on ourselves and project that positive energy onto everyone else we care about.
If you have anything you would like to add or any questions write them below and we can continue this conservation that way. These examples of irrational thoughts will teach us that we must correct what is going on with our thought process.
When we have worked hard and practiced enough we will begin to think rationally, and by doing this instead of what we currently do.
We will unlock so many positive things which will lead us out of that shy personality we have grown to hate so much.