Have you ever gone to a party that was already going on and you just try to slip inside unnoticed?
Something you pray thatgoes off without a hitch because you know that you will freak out if the entire room turns to look at you all at once.
Sometimes we just need to figure out where everything is located so we don’t embarrass ourselves bumping into people and making things worse.
The benefits of arriving early should become painfully obvious to all of us.
We get far more comfortable being someplace new before others have arrived because it lets our minds stop stressing out and we gain the control that otherwise is impossible to have.
Early Arrival will take away some of the awkwardness
It is a fact that when we have more time alone in a new environment we start to feel more secure. And when we are secure it becomes easier to let go and loosen up, because we don’t have to worry about where everything is.
I am not a fan of getting to any place late, or even after a majority of other people have already arrived.
The funny thing is that I am somebody that will watch people as they enter the room and this is the very thing I am terrified of.
People watching my every movement scares me because it’s that unknown thought they could be moments away from shouting.
If you have ever seen the show Cheers were the entire bar yells Norm as he enters, then you know what I mean by not becoming the target.
Many people watching that show probably even joined in and shouted Norm even from their living rooms. All I remembered from that show was being glad it wasn’t me.
This fear of being singled out is one of the worst possible things to happen because there isn’t any way to control what the entire room would chant.
If somebody starts out with a negative and everyone chimes in the same, my entire experience becomes ruined.
Anyways, by showing up early you are not only able to bypass all of the fear of this scenario happening, you are also able to start talking to people as they show up.
This gives you a chance to get familiar with a few people and you no longer feel alone.
What does this actually say about my personality?
This is the only way I seem to loosen up even after trying many different things.
I got used to getting places early because I wanted to have a few drinks.
Even after I stopped drinking I still did this because it was how I believed I could fit in and blend in the best.
I can tell you that it works okay up until that point you run out of energy and just want to go home.
The real question I wonder about is how this looks to other people? This fear of people having thoughts since we all have thoughts about other people as they interact.
Does it make you a judgemental person? Or does it just mean you are cautious?
The longer I work on this blog and think about all the experiences I have had or will have I know that things need to change.
Pain or Pleasure what really guides us?
Obviously for me trying to sneak around a room going unnoticed would probably sound silly to anyone who doesn’t do this as well.
But it’s really just one way I have tried to avoid a painful interaction. For many others they find pleasure getting to know everyone, and seeing people surrounding them brings joy.
Often we see their joy and it hurts us to know that we are just different. This shouldn’t be what life is like, should it? Feeling deep shame and pain from having to sneak around.
After enough time goes by you decide that it’s time to leave. But are you leaving when you really want to or are you doing this because it’s too painful to stay?
These thoughts don’t always come up since we are drained from just being there. It feels like you learn more each time you try and hang out with others but is it really enough to be somewhere and still not technically feel like you are part of it?
Observations, Experiences, and Training
Ever wondered how something can be funny to everyone but you? Ever seen a movie you couldn’t stand, but nobody else would say a single bad thing about it?
This seemed like the life I was living and from my own experience of watching others, I knew something was just different. I could never put my finger on the why, but it didn’t leave my thoughts and me wondering why.
When I decided I would start observing the world around me with an open mind, I could start to see things a little different.
But it wasn’t enough because I could not understand it all just yet.
This lead to searches across the internet and these searches kept coming back to obvious answers which didn’t suggest a way to accomplish anything.
Many times I would get discouraged and forget about trying. Assuming I just wasn’t meant to be happy and that I had really no hope of ever figuring things out.
When I started blogging, I started gaining success
This is a fun little scenario, for me now, but wasn’t when I began. Since anything I did was under a microscope, it just felt so weird and so scary.
When I found that people not only knew everything I didn’t’ I was encouraged to look even harder at my self. This can happen to anyone else as well, and I can show you the way to do it.
You see that every post I have done in 8 months of blogging has helped me to deal with fears. Even when the topics had nothing to do at all about fear, it was me facing something head on.
Getting comfortable with achieving small victories encouraged me to crave them even more. I would look for information and spend hours each day reading.
What I have found is a way to go from terribly shy, to something more relaxed, focused, and driven toward my goals. I urge you all to give a blog a try and to follow my progress here.
I guess I got a little past the benefits of arriving early, but that is just a small step for me to find the path to doing even more steps.
If you have any questions or comments please leave them below and I will reply to each one. Thanks for reading and I hope you have found this helpful.