What would shock you more knowing that about only 20 percent of the world is probably shy because of genetics? Or knowing that it’s growing each decade by about 8 percent and there is always someone to blame for it.

It’s no wonder that being shy is ruining my life, not only was it a product of how I learned in childhood it also can be brought on by certain experiences as we grow up.

The lack of assurance leads more people to end up with a shy disposition, but there is far more to this story than I would have ever guessed.

The most alarming thing you can learn about people who are shy!

Care to make a guess what this could be? It is possible to assume the most well-known people could be battling this in private.

There is almost no way to realize how many people this includes unless you ask them or the people that work very closely with them.

I am talking about famous celebrities, athletes, politicians and every possible high-status person in the world could be among them. The reasons for this has a lot to do with the exact same factors as everyone else.

Self-doubts, Self-esteem, Self-judgements are just 3 factors that anyone could be doing to themselves internally and this leads to a lot of problems.

Knowing this little bit of information actually made me feel better about myself briefly. People who are shy are very vulnerable because it’s not something that comes up usually in a good light.

I have mostly been the punchline for a lot of jokes and whether they were meant to lighten up the mood or be harmful, there really is no way to know for certain.

No wonder there is lack of support for getting through this type of a problem, if everyone who is shy can’t find a way to ask for help, it will continue to be on the rise.

Anyways I just wanted to bring this to other shy peoples attention and give them a sense that you can actually tough it out and get to a better place.

Not gonna be a quick path to find your own voice but none the less it’s a bigger pool of swimmers than I ever realized.

Let’s move on to the next topic I want to actually talk about and this is why I picked the title.

Being Shy is Ruining my life 

This is connected to some other points I mention but I wanted to bring light to a few more ways so that we all will learn what is really going on in this wonderful world we seem to think is full of judgemental people.

Ever wonder what the actual costs of being shy are?, Typically we assume it’s just something temporary that people get over as they get older. But as a suffering player in this game, I know all too well what these are.

First, we can talk about what this translates to as far as getting an education. From early on we know that certain children who are shy stand out and get bullied. 

Kids who are shy make perfect targets because they aren’t likely to say anything when it happens.

This can lead to avoidance of school and a real hatred when it comes to learning.

Once that seed has been planted in a child, they are too afraid of what will happen next. Always thinking that everyone is just waiting for them to be outside of the classroom and pow, they take on a beating.

You can hardly blame a kid for not wanting to go to school with that threat to their safety as it is. But it’s not just at school that we see kids feeling unprotected, often they go home to nobody who cares or even worse to fighting and yelling and never gaining any kind of comfortable environment.

For me, I would come home to a house with two alcoholics, a babysitter who was less than decent, or my grandmother who I grew to really feel safest around.

Whether or not this describes anyone else is irrelevant the feelings which are there doesn’t even have to be horrible like it was for me. Anytime a child isn’t praised for making an effort can lead them to develop self-esteem issues.

I am not just talking about sports which can be awful if it’s not something your good at. For me, sports was just something else to do and in my mind, I was always great at them.

Let’s look at the other side of the spectrum

What really happens when a parent is overprotective and a child has no way to develop any skills on their own. This can be just as bad and contribute to the problem because by being one outta one hundred kids that have been sheltered.

They simply are never given any chance to learn while they need to. Which scenario is better?

You see where this is going it’s not usually a choice given to somebody, instead, it’s inflicted upon them when they have no understanding of anything else.

Back to costs about education and how this gets worse instead of better. By always being on the outside of everything wouldn’t it seem unlikely that any of the skills get learned before puberty hits?

Talk about adding, even more, fuel to a fire that is already ablaze. All of these new changes to try and figure out and then having the pressure to get grades that won’t make your family disown you.

It has gotten to a point where you will be choosing one or the other. Relationships or the classroom, and it’s all eyes on one thing because the other one makes you so uncomfortable you just fantasize all the time.

Everything is one way to go and everything else gets worse while you struggle with not understanding who you even are at this point.

Thinking it will all make sense one day because it has to but feeling alone when nobody really is there for you.

I mention trapped in some of my other posts because for me it’s almost all I ever felt in my life.

Looking at some other costs which will only stack up as we go

The voice that never shuts up and drives us away from other people the way it makes sleep seem miles away because our hearts always beating so much loader then we can tolerate hearing.

We all know people we think are happy and we see what they are doing which leads us to think we are not good enough and we are broken.

We dwell on everything 10x the way anyone else would and for what it’s worth to us it repeats every day like a race car going in circles but not actually going any place.

When you see the fear that is everywhere it to gets amplified because any other people who are not feeling safe means there really must be danger everywhere which triggers our minds to go off even more like a bomb hitting the ground.

I know I am extreme because what I tell other people gets them concerned what it’s actually like to be shy.

Keep in mind I have had 3 almost 4 decades to get worse.

But at least I got sober which I am proud of being able to do.

Let me just stop here for now

Before this gets out of hand let me just say that I stopped drinking because it was so unpleasant to constantly have abdominal pain, I really had no other choice.

There is a wonderful thing about this which didn’t just happen for me, I had to really take a full on look at myself and what I thought I was worth. For years that price was pretty low from all the abuse I put myself through.

Today that number is going up each day I can develop a goal. I know it’s not a perfect life and won’t be, but at least it’s a work in progress.

Let me just say that my journey leads me to people’s life’s now because I am trying to find anyone who I can help.

If there is any way talking to me can save you even a day of suffering I ask that you take this time to reach out and comment. My email is one of the best ways to introduce yourself to me and I will never ignore anyone who is looking for help.

I am able to share my story because I learned how to find my voice. If I can do it anyone else should be able to at least start working on themselves too.

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Outside Sources:

Statistics from Psychology Today in this post