In a previous post, I mentioned a few different fears that have to be addressed in order to find happiness. Today I want to focus on the single most problematic one for me.
Anxiety and fear of letting myself down are more complex then it sounds because it really does consist of everything.
Learning about happiness, success, and failure will determine how we grade ourselves.
What exactly is it about ourselves that becomes the most difficult to see and work on?
For a lot of us, we are determined to excel at many things. When we stumble it hurts, and this pain is what we end up fearing.
When we start feeling more pain we realize that it comes from within and isn’t determined by outside factors.
Fear of this pain creates more limiting beliefs and one of those is about failing, making mistakes and giving up.
Because we know that they are not who we are it is disappointing to feel this way about ourselves.
Shocking Fears Which Prevent Happiness
People in one form or another become a big part of everyone’s life. This is almost unavoidable because we are creatures that need to find approval from somewhere.
When everyone around us has nothing but good things to say, why do some people such as myself still find it difficult to fit in?
As I look at myself and build up my self-confidence, my self-esteem goes up as well but these two things alone are just not enough.
I work on changing my beliefs and getting to know my real values in life but something remains unchanged. Like a crater that keeps expanding and slowly keeps me away from the goals I make.
These same goals which are meant to lead me to a happiness and fulfillment that I haven’t experienced before. Countless self-help books saying to work on positive thinking and do positive actions.
None of which seem to change that hole I have buried deep beneath the surface. Everything boils down to the fear I allow to stay protected and I stumble around my mind trying to figure out why.
Fear of others wasn’t good enough, fear of rejection not quite what I feel either. So then how can I still have a fear that shouldn’t be there?
When I dig down to my core values I learn the truth
I am not afraid of anything which I can even avoid. My avoidance does nothing to solve the problems I face and my feelings of hurting keep getting worse.
Knowing that I continue to make positive progress, and confidence is growing and continues to soar above where I started. So what still lingers inside of me but my own set of principles?
Being harsh and feeling things are never good enough, is one revelation I hear in the distance. Like an echo which grows the moment I stop to listen.
What is this really if it’s not failure or success it seems impossible to even name something that is just there and is nothing but something.
Book after book leads me closer as I get goosebumps to learn my own deadly secret. I have nothing to fear but fear and this somehow is corrupting my thoughts.
Bleeding me dry and leaving a corpse so disfigured and unrecognizable. My image is right, my values are set, my beliefs are changing for the better.
Courageously I strive toward this emptiness and confront it like a knight confronts a demon. Slashing and thrusting my sword goes straight through just as if this nothing isn’t even real.
This struggle stays a conflict because I am not being true to what I know is me. I need to dig deeper still.
Beliefs that empower us
First, what is meant by an empowering belief? Can I just ask myself a question and form one, or do I need to go and do something in order to have that experience?
Looking at life full of positive examples gives me ideas which I wish I was more like. So does this make my wishes empowering or just wishes?
All of those are good questions which test my minds perception of things. To me empowering is something that leads to being a better person. Or leads to better situations which not only benefit myself but others.
Can I make a list of things I want to achieve and then simply plan to do those things? Actions that involve some planning and are based on predictions alone make up beliefs.
Let’s look at optimism and figure out how this can improve our quality of life. Optimism is simply looking at the glass as half full.
What does this tell us? That the glass has room to be filled up with more. That the glass still has more potential, and that the glass won’t spill as much as it would if full.
All of this tells me I should be ready for more challenges which fill up the glass in time. Not as a pessimist might say of things becoming worse or the glass being empty.
These are both examples of how the power of words works. If I want to be more positive I need to start by using positive words.
This will help me to gain a positive belief such as optimism and this starts me working toward challenges which will bring opportunities to become better.
How do we use empowerment to change our fear of letting ourselves down?
I simply cannot let myself down when I have the right mindset. That means I stop seeing failure as an option, or I change the word failure to something different.
Changing my emotional vocabulary to evolve around positives help me to gain a better perception of a positive way to live my life.
The world around me will become a positive thing instead of my seeing the negatives and assuming the worst things happening, I don’t even look at those anymore.
What happens is it becomes impossible to really let myself down, since all my effort always leads to some type of positive lesson.
String all of these lessons together and my fears are gone, replaced by beliefs that no longer see fear as fear but fear as motivations toward excitement.
Looking back at fears that can be changed into motivators
Reflection is looking back on something we have thought about. This can be good or bad depending on what became of it.
Taking time in our lives to reflect on things is an exercise that can be very helpful. Once we have considered our experiences we can determine if something is positive or negative.
By reflecting on our ideas we begin to notice a pattern and will be able to eliminate our negative thoughts. This will lead us to become a better version from where we start out.
With the elimination of negatives, we begin to create fewer fears. Our perception is changed because our limiting beliefs vanish.
Once we learn to change our perceptions we continue to find more reasons to grow and continue to try. These encourage us to adapt and update ourselves to fit where we are going.
How many fears does this include and how can we get used to changing them to motivators? We just have to try and practice things so we eventually shape our own perceptions.
I no longer need to fear rejection because it doesn’t concern me anymore. My goal is simply to try and the effort I put into trying means way more to me than the result.
Based on this, anxiety and fear of letting myself down becomes the furthest thing on my mind. It’s not a fear it’s a learning experience and I am excited to gain as many of those as I can.