Welcome to Overcome Life Obstacles, I hope that you will benefit from all the wonderful tips I have to help.
My plan for this website is to bring together all the useful resources which can be used to build up confidence and to overcome the anxiety caused by groups of people.
My story is one with a lot of adversity, most of which was caused by my own ignorance. Have you ever tried to figure out different ways to solve your own problems and refused to listen to anyone else’s advice?
Yeah, that was me from a very early age which kept me from being taught. Sometimes you feel the need to blame those who raised you, other times it’s the rest of the world that failed you.
For me it was a combination of all outside external factors which meant that I harbored major resentments towards everyone I bumped into.
As you can imagine that wound up making small problems worse, drama where there was none, and struggles which came out of every direction possible.
Fast forward past my childhood and into my teenage years, which there wasn’t any real changes. I started a job because I didn’t have to be interviewed and worked alongside my older sister.
That became a part of my identity and it got so easy to forget about bigger things. Somehow I was under the impression that life was more then experiences because I was convinced that all my suffering came from my location.
Working gave me a distraction but it began to program me for a mundane lifestyle. At the same time I was trying to become something different by hanging out with people who weren’t introverted like I was.
That came with more unnecessary trials because I hung out with people who thought that life was about a get high, get drunk, and black out so there are no bad memories type of lifestyle.
The next three years I did three things only. Went to school, went to work, and went drank/got high. It didn’t matter where any of that third behavior happened I was simply loving the feel of life at this point.
As my tolerance grew my patience with everyday people, got very limited which meant I didn’t try to be nice. Only when I was after something would I dare to smile or offer a hand so it resulted in a lack of friendships.
To me all that qualified as living was having the ability to see anything as a problem. That was the number one thing I took with me when I left for college life.
The solution to every single problem was to put it down beneath the surface which meant there was one problem I faced each day. Where was I going to find somebody to buy me what I needed?
Those things were alcohol and weed.
Problems Stockpiled But I Didn’t See Them Anymore.
Only the people around me could see that things weren’t always as good as I made them seem. I drank in the morning to push away the shakes, I drank anytime I had something, and I chain smoked cigarettes inside my dorm room.
Not only did I find excuses to isolate myself, it was getting out of control and my hallmates didn’t want to see me at all. I probably was the biggest failure based on how well I did my freshman year.
Making the dean’s list 4 straight semesters kept me living inside a daxed dream world but realising that I didn’t remember most of the time that passed by was an enormous mental strain on me.
My junior year had started the same as my sophomore but had existing new challenges. For one thing during the 2nd semester as a sophomore I was black out drunk and put in jail.
They only charged me with a public intox but the simple fact of not remembering what went down had me terrified. My last memory was that I was holding a small knife.
I walked back alone to my dorm room with the feeling that something bad was still to come. My phone had a green light that flashed with a new message but it had another light that would indicate total messages.
When I saw something unusual with the phone I could only guess to the degree that I would be putting the pieces together of that night.
The first message turned out to be nothing but the last two were the ones that sank my confidence. Turns out when you get into trouble and the campus security have limited options they merely disarm and prevent.
But outta fear somebody else called the police who responded to a drunk and disorderly call. The college was given the reports from both and they wanted me to see them asap.
Fearing that I would be in big trouble I kept myself sober to face the news. Basically it was the first time an incident of a good student so they were lenient on my punishment.
Spring semester had about four weeks left so they told me to stop drinking and during the summer to seek treatment.
The Leniency Wasn’t Truly What I Had Needed.
I didn’t take it seriously even after all the worst case scenarios that played through my mind after the phone message. I was still not being looked after to make sure I followed up with the no drinking.
That exact day I had somebody else go and get a few cases of beer just to stock my fridge. Fortunately I had no trouble come as a result and summer vacation was there before I could blink.
During the summer break I went back to my part time job which meant seeing some usual faces once again. The job wasn’t anything that needed a sober mind to do the menial tasks which made it easy to work mornings.
That would leave the afternoons and nights to do whatever I would like. Halfway through the summer I was still holding onto that don’t give a shit mentality because even after meeting with a rehabilitation counselor I kept doing the same things.
To give you a bit more of an idea of what I was like, imagine somebody you know who thinks they are unstoppable. Then add the obnoxiousness of an alcoholic to that with a high degree of insanity in the air.
I didn’t listen to what people recommended, even as I failed a urine test and got scolded by the counselor he just shrugged and let me off with a lecture about where I was heading.
After doing the minimum amount to satisfy my college, I was ready to register for the fall. But this was the final semester I would make it through.
On Going Problems With One Particular Class.
For some reason I had just one class I didn’t do well at and it was a precalculus/trigonometry one. I was able to take it one semester each year which meant by my junior year I had failed it twice already.
There is a thing called pass/fail which you can use to try to make it through the more concerning courses. I had no choice but to change this one to that each time.
Going into the third attempt I was feeling very defeated and determined not to give up. I drank less, I showed up for each class, I went to a tutor for each assignment and I felt confident enough to pass it this time.
But when the final exam came and I knew it would be the one to determine my fate again, everything on that exam seemed to be in a foreign language.
All of my hope and desire to try again was completely stripped away now and I had no idea what I was going to do as a result.
The reason that I had felt unstoppable before was because I believed I could earn a degree without needing the math requirement past the first requirement.
So, to fail that one course three straight times brought on the most severe depression of my life.
Hopeless, Isolated, With The Stink Of Failure.
At this point in my life my options felt virtually non existent. Only one thing stood out which was the drink.
By the end of this semester I had passed all other classes but my attendance to them were all cut in half. I struggled to even get out of bed but I still hadn’t lost that one fleeting chance to just keep holding on.
There was a major change about to happen though which cut me down to the knees. I took a class in economics because it was my major, with the understanding that I could use a degree for many useful things later on.
People reacted strangely anytime I would reply that it was my major. But I had never understood why until I got into this particular class.
Suddenly the textbook began to look just like the precalculus book with many different equations. My mind went back to the failed course which was the final straw to my college stay.
As soon as I made the connection that people basically knew ahead of me, I was instantly without any purpose. Once the motivation to go the class left me so did that same thing for all other endeavors.
My Life Was Spiraling Down Hill Fast With No More Hope Of Landing Safely.
The next decade of my life was going from one meaningless job to another with major gaps in between. As you may be able to understand it’s not exactly a way to regain any type of confidence.
My self-esteem was gone completely and my thoughts continued to worsen. I was completely out of control and started to truly believe I was insane.
What else could explain what had happened to an almost phenom but there had to be something else causing these problems to consume me.
I had been to treatment centers all throughout this ordeal and left more than thirteen of them sober with a plan. But it didn’t last and I didn’t understand why.
In my early thirties I started to see an old man looking back at me but it wasn’t my face that I saw. It was the countless men that I met during those treatments with all their different stories.
One man in particular had somehow made a difference to what I would think about from time to time. He was a person who was going through liver failure.
This meant that he had fluids that would accumulate in his abdomen. I could see him each day as his gut got bigger and bigger and at a certain point he would get it drained.
But for some reason he still hadn’t given up hope that he could at least get to a sober point in life to be around his family. That way he could say a few things to be remembered in a positive way.
That was the person I saw looking back at me everytime I drank even when I was doing it with a purpose of dying.
What Was It That Finally Got Me Sober?
Nothing but a desire to not drink until I could afford to do it again. That’s my secret for having ten plus years of sobriety, I simply made a promise that I wouldn’t start back up until I wanted to die.
So, I made a mental plan which just so happened to need a set of conditions to be met first.
One thing that I wanted to do before I die was to find a passion and a way to experience what I had always seen other people enjoying.
That second idea was to gain friendships, have relationships, and to eventually help others to gain the focus to achieve their own dreams.
You see, I spent almost all of my life feeling alone even when I was surrounded by other people. I had a need to be alone because I believed I was evil.
It may seem silly to somebody who hasn’t seen the very worst in themselves but to me it was just a joke to lift my spirit. Well, it started as a joke anyway because I knew deep down that I wouldn’t intentionally harm anyone.
The weirdest part of this was that it’s so easy to think about doing harmful and evil things, but notice there wasn’t any true motivation to do so.
Why Did I Write This About Myself?
It’s an attempt for you to get to know me without my defenses up. I couldn’t have done this good of a job a couple of years ago. But today I am a changed person and I know how different I feel.
I have confidence in my skills, I can acknowledge my triumphs and let go of the things I did while having a past. I can see the value in everything that I used to make fun of which makes an enormous difference in my behavior.
Suffering isn’t something that is bad but it’s not always easy to know why it’s happening. For me to get ahead of my own problems I had to figure out why they were following me around everywhere I went.
I had to learn about who I was so I could plan on becoming a better person than the previous version each day. I know that drinking was simply a way to force myself from facing my own worst fears.
That it all goes back to the child I was when I feared what other people were doing.
I can see those memories now and how there wasn’t much that could change them. I control everything that I think about which also means that nothing happens in my mind that I don’t allow to happen.
You see, the power that keeps me alive and well today is the focus I have learned to point toward the obstacles I am willing to overcome.
My experience as an alcoholic was a very lengthy experiment which was vital for me to transform. I didn’t understand it until I started to learn how to coach myself to be better.
That is what I know works for all problems that anyone has to face.
This website has a purpose and a definitive meaning to me. I hope that it can help somebody else to do what is necessary to transform themselves into what they dream to become.
There may be many who visit, there will be many that misunderstand things, but there will be at least one person who needs to see my struggles.
For that one person I want to help them to become something amazing. So I hope that they find me before they feel it’s necessary to end their own life.
Why I know I can help others
A little about me and why I am here, I grew up without understanding why I was very different from everyone else I knew. Things which would get me picked on or blamed because I couldn’t find a way to express what was on my mind or be understood by those people around me.
Every day of my life has been a battle to try and figure out who I am and what my purpose truly is. Part of this process is to develop all the beneficial skills needed to increase my success. From this website and from my past experiences I know that I can offer the best guidance for those having difficulties in their own lives.
The plan going forward is to get everyone familiar with themselves and to start building on any weaknesses that have kept you from enjoying life.
Many struggles we have are going to be similar and then others will be entirely personal. Because of this, it’s not only important to find the best information but also consistently keep working to move forward with things.
Experiences that will be easy to connect with people
I want everyone to find that voice inside of themselves and to become something far better then they may think possible. I already know what it’s like to feel a constant need to avoid talking to other people and why being shy isn’t the best way to go through life.
Helping people to figure things out is my priority here because the sooner we understand how to change ourselves into the person we really want to be the better it is for our quality of life. I never had all the answers I needed until I found them online.
This process can be difficult for anyone who doesn’t like to spend all there time searching the entire net and finding the best ways to overcome life obstacles.
By getting the very best information and resources and putting them all in one spot I believe is what will be the most helpful way to reach other people who want to gain the confidence they also desire to succeed in life.
This sites goal to help other people
My goal with this website is to provide the very best information possible and to show others that it’s never too late to gain the necessary skills to succeed. Being shy or socially anxious and afraid can be a painful way to live and when you don’t know how to fix yourself it can cause unneeded frustrations.
Now that I am able to create a website and offer a blog I can reach the most people and let them know they are not as bad off as they think. It only takes time to change what we believe is possible and what we believe about ourselves.
If you ever need a hand or have any questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to help you out.
All the best,