This post is going to be different then all of the others. I wanted to make a guide that is filled with everything you need to do to be prepared.
Best tips for self improvement will take the top 20 tips which cover emotional intelligence. For anyone confused about what emotional intelligence is, it means our awareness and control of everything about our emotions, feelings and interpersonal relationships.
This includes everything that is on this website and shows you the top 20 things to learn as soon as possible to catch up with where I feel I am at today.
Prepare yourself with a notebook to keep track of them and after we are done each of the 20 tips will be it’s own journal exercise or blog post.
You can even use this to make a 20+ day challenge for yourself to really dive deep and know how you stack up in life so far based on what you experienced.
Best tips for self improvement begins here
#1 Tip – How am I feeling? Get yourself used to asking at least one question everytime you find 5 minutes in your day. Why? Because this will help you learn about what your mind is yapping at you. Is it good or positive or does it bring you down with negatives.
When you ask how am I feeling it gives you a wide open place to pinpoint what is going on at any minute of the day or night. What does this do for us?
We gain valuable information that we can use to figure out what is working well in our life and what isn’t by taking notes on the details during our days.
Self help 101 is you need to know yourself better! You need to understand yourself before you can improve, change something, or remove something.
#2 Tip – Journal about your experiences that day. Why? To get comfortable thinking about what you do, how you act, who is around you, what you like, what you dislike, what you do well, what you do okay, what you would like to do but don’t know yet, and ideas you have that would make any difference for you or others.
The act of writing down our thoughts doesn’t mean we have to share them with anyone, it just means we care enough about ourselves that we want to know more and be more aware of what our days are really like.
There are lot’s of other journaling activities that we will want to do at some point but before any of those matter we have to start somewhere.
Realizing that a journal is our most precious tool because over time we can see progress(good or bad) and make decisions based off of that.
#3 Tip – Learn a decision making techniqure. Who would of thougt to actually get used to a specific module to make our decisions much easier and become automatic?
This will help us to move away from being pessimistic and start growing up as an optimist. Not only that, but it will eliminate many excuses or reasons to blame others for any indecisiveness we may have.
We gain a general idea of how to start prioritizing our lives so that we don’t screw around when there is improvements to be made. If you have a strong desire to change a bad habit to a good habit this will be wonderful to learn.
#4 Tip – Practice enough so that you can learn quickly. People who figure out that practice makes perfect right away go on to be far more successful then those who only think they understand it.
Do you realize why this is? Our minds work best when it can be taught the exact order and time to do things. This is why people pick up bad habits and why they are hard to break.
But if you do this for anything you want to learn, it will become a good habit that you do on auto pilot and after a while it’s done without any focus needed which saves us energy to learn the next skill.
#5 Tip – Make more mistakes! Yes, you are reading this correctly and it’s probably not the first time you have heard it either. Our minds pick up on things like bad experiences and repeat them over and over so that we learn not to do them again.
Why? Because it doesn’t feel good to muck something up and when you really want that extra boost of motivation messing things up just expedite how quickly our minds remind us to do it again but better.
A Problem for many people is they avoid these kinds of thoughts and try not to ever do it again. You know the phrase “never doing that again!”
Well you shouldn’t think that way because chances are your mind wont simply let it go until you do it. This is also where we pick up fear of failing or fear of rejection.
Avoiding things just don’t work and history will repeat itself until you learn that or die.
#6 Tip – Figure out what you do well. Know your stregnths as soon as you can that way you will use them to learn more things faster. Money can dictate how soon you can try to learn something but if you are getting paid to do what you are great at, the money comes faster and easier.
It’s also why you shouldn’t just jump into a new career with no experience. One reason I encourage people to journal before they start a blog is to get used to writing about themselves, their thougths, and to find a voice that they love.
Another reason to know what you do well is so you can prioritze the things you need to do, want to do, and need to learn exactly in the order that works best for yourself.
Guessing that you will like this or that and than figuring out after several months will just keep you moving in the wrong direction.
#7 Tip – Know your beliefs and values. Have problems with that inner voice being too negative all the time? Wanna figure out why you do things that don’t make you happy?
You need to understand your values, the things in your life that matter the most. Spending 80 hours at work when you want to be with your family will never lead you to be better.
All you are doing is creating suffering for everyone because you are being dishonest with yourself and not functioning at your peak level.
I have already given you the process to do this if you read my other blog posts. This means you have zero reason to make any excuses about figuring them out now.
#8 Tip – Understand and practice compassion. Why? It is the only way you will ever be able to learn what makes this world wonderful. Caring about somebody or caring about yourself are more important then how much money you earn.
Material things don’t go with you in death, but people will always remember how much love and compassion you brought to the people around you.
The biggest secret out there is that you will be successful when you are compassionate because other people will want to make sure that it happens for you. You help me I help you and boom we all find a way to be joyful, successful and wonderful in our lives.
Commiting to compassion isn’t even difficult to do because you can start out by helping one person a day and seeing how much gratefulness this creates in you and others who emulate it.
#9 Tip – Make a gratitude journal. Why? Because at the end of the day it’s nice to do something awesome for yourself. When you keep track of what you have that you are fortuante to have you will boost your emotional intelligence automatically.
This happens because you and your mind can process what experiences matter the most. Then everytime you do something related you will get that feeling while you do it.
Part of becoming more self aware is that you are in touch with your emotions, feelings, and thoughts. Hopefully this sounds familar from earlier.
For those of you who are like me, goose bumps feel great and I love to do things that bring those energy filled thrills to life. It’s unique but simliar everytime and keeps my body wanting to do more and more.
#10 Tip – Meditate or Practice relaxation techniques. Why? For anyone that ever gets nervous or anxious we already understand that this happens in our minds.
We get anxiety when we over think or over react to something. Pills or medication don’t treat the issue they may relieve the symptoms for a second.
The only long term way to treat anxiety, depression, nervous energy and worry is to confront it in a gentle and effective way. That is exactly what you will learn to do when you meditate often.
I mentioned starting it back earlier this year because I was clueless to how great meditation really is. The good news is it’s inexpensive to do and start.
#11 Tip – Belong to something important. Why? Everyone has interests that they feel are unique to them and the reality is, that others usually feel that same way.
When you are able to join groups of other like minded people you will develop better relationship skills. Does it scare you to feel like a noob and that you don’t know anyone that will help you to learn?
Groups get formed just to help other people, it’s no different then being compassionate for another person in need. The good news is that there is a group out there for everyone no matter what you may think of yourself.
Hopefully you are building your self worth by following along with me and this blog.
#12 Tip – Once you have become confident and self assured it’s time to put it to use so that it’s automatically growing. How do you do this? Starting your own business or community.
Doing this will also give you the ability to lead others and to really boost up your confidence and motivations. Keep in mind that it’s hard work to get a business from startup to profitable and it won’t just happen overnight.
But when you invest the right amount of energy and desire to build something special it doesn’t just become your business, it becomes your passion as well.
You may wonder why I am doing this site and it’s because of everything I am teaching you. I want to be happy and fulfilled in life but also do something I love and answer to nobody but myself.
#13 Tip – Practice patience and persistence. Why? In our lives we have time or money that we get to use to improve ourselves. When there is a lack of one or both it’s important to understand this and be patient until you gain more.
The foundation of improving yourself is to know what boundaries you have to start out with. Wanting things to happen prior to them happening is another way to think negatively and to get discouraged.
By understanding that time is precious and more importantly our time is valuable, we know that we should not sell ourselves short and to become assertive to gain what is required.
You simply cannot practice patience when you don’t allow yourself time to improve and gain what you need. Thinking that you deserve this or that because you have suffered is an irrational way to think.
Taking that suffering and teaching yourself that it’s all for a great and wonderful reason will lead you in the direction which is required to be persistent.
There is only one way to fail at something and that way is to admit that you failed. Two things happen after this 1) You stop trying and quit, 2) You suck it up and learn that it’s just a one time set back.
The second one is a must have when dealing with any self improvement or anything that benefits anyone anyways.
#14 Tip – Learn to ask for help. Experts are everywhere and are looking to assist people. One of the best ways to ensure that you are being helped is to find out who you respect and admire. How do you do this?
You ask yourself what matters to you in your life. There are many different things to look at before asking a person for help. Do you understand why they are valuable and what they can teach you?
Do they have something you desire and are you willing to listen to them no matter what?
#15 Tip Asking the best questions. Surprise, this one goes right along with tip 14 because you need to understand what it is you are actually looking for before you consume somebody else’s time.
This is also known as being respectful and will go pretty far while making a great first impression. Have you ever seen somebody reply to a question with “Excellent question I am pleased that you asked me?”
Those are the indications that you have actually thought about what to ask somebody based on what they know. You shouldn’t try to ask uneeded questions if you have truly done your due dilligence.
#16 Tip – Keep your cool. Learn how you react to people, places, and things(situations). This way you can be the one in full control of your emotions.
How exactly is this learned? Practice 1-15 of these wonderful self improvement tips first. Then learn to anticipate areas that are trouble for yourself.
Almost everyone has a family member that they know will say the wrong thing, or do something that will cause other people to react.
When you can anticipate this happening you become aware of yourself and how to control your own thoughts to stay cool and be a better leader for others.
This really takes practice just like many other valuable skills, but when you get it down it means that your thoughts have become positive most of the time rather then negative and troubling.
#17 Tip – Become a story teller. What does that mean? The entire process of self improvement is to gain a way to become a better person.
When you can turn your life experiences into captivating and motivating stories to be shared with others a few things happen in your favor.
1) You can control an audience at the drop of a hat, 2) You can control your self and everything you say or think, and 3) You become a highly valued and sought after person that everyone wants to know.
A while back I mentioned goose bumps, but after writing those three things down I just felt them again. Hopefully you have as well at least a few times while reading along.
I started this site because I had one specific goal in mind. That is to 100% learn how to become a better person and to understand how people work.
1,2,3 do that exact thing, I know what people enjoy(stories). I know what I enjoy(understanding what I am doing). And I know what people are thinking(they want me to be part of their lives because they see the value I bring with me).
Besides sharing stories about my life there are several other areas that can do all 3 things as well. Just learning one way gives us the power we need to understand the rest.
#18 Tip – Let Things Go. Why? There is one way to make sure we never move forward in our lives. That one way is to believe that revenge or to believe in paying somebody back for the stuff they made us feel or experience.
Every single thing you do should be from a motivation you have created that benefits yourself. Pay backs and revenge don’t do this, all they do is damage our minds and destroy our thoughts.
The reality of the world we live in is that we must be focused on the good and not the bad. We need to show somebody that what they did to us was wrong and that instead of retailiation we move on to improve somebody elses life.
Who amongst us hasn’t craved getting revenge but thought better of doing it? Or when you have taken revenge that good or joyous feeling you hoped for didn’t last long or just wasn’t there?
Ever wonder why it’s better to treat others like you want to be treated? It’s for this reason, when we get stuck on something we let that thought fester, we visualize the pain or suffering that it caused us and how bad it’s gonna be when we pay it back.
What really happens is that our minds(subconscious) learns this is what we get pleasure from. This creates a pain from pleasure based reality that will be toxic to everyone else we are around.
Suddently you have no friends, your family isn’t there to answer your calls, and you are stuck in a life of misery and suffering where there really isn’t any pleasures.
Once you exact revenge if you do, there is no simple way to eliminate the damage that you inflicted on yourself. Self confidence decreases, self esteem is gone and you feel like you have nothing left to do but die.
Solution is to just let things go to prevent a destructive thought cycle from happening before it begins.
#19 Tip – Never stop learning. Why? Because if you don’t continue to grow, you start to die. It’s as simple as it sounds, because when you don’t continue to think your thoughts regress to something you won’t like.
When you decide to become lazy your body gains weight and your energy gets sapped by almost any activity. Your bones break because there is no nutrients coming since you decided drinking beer and eating processed junk means more to you then yourself.
Falling down and playing the victim will come back into your mentality and all because you decided to become lazy and didn’t think you needed to learn anything else.
Bad news is laziness equals death, perfection equals death, and the only way to change yourself for the better is to always aim to be learning something new.
#20 Tip – Love yourself more then anything else no matter what! Why? Because this means we will always be growing in everything we do.
When I love myself more then you my love for you is growing too. It rhymes so it must be true. But seriously, nothing matters if what you see, hear, feel, taste, and smell makes you hate yourself more.
I have been at the bottom of this spectrum and I know that it’s not what anyone should feel. To go from suicide attempts and thougths about being worthless, stupid and ugly.
To being full of self love, compassion, and kindness matters more to me then anything I have ever felt before. If I can go from feeling broken to know I can never be broken again as long as I keep doing these tips.
Is more empowering then anything else I can give you or me. But I will never stop trying to be even better, because I know what happens when you go in the opposite direction.
The only thing I fear doesn’t even exist because I know that I have defeated it once and for all!
I hope you have enjoyed reading these 20 best tips for self improvement, but even more than that I hope you have learned and will take action to do them.