Recently I was wondering about something which is pretty vague, so I began searching for my own answers. 15 ways to benefit from regaining control of your life is what I found.
The good news is there are both positives and negatives from wanting to control things, these include overthinking, worrying, overusing, oversimplifying, exaggerating, being overwhelmed, and becoming confused.
Clearly, those are the negatives I just listed, so why is control an important part of the journey you are on? It’s the same as with anything, you have to look at each choice you have from the point of view that will help you the most.
Too bad that it’s also how you end up overthinking and can become overwhelmed at the same time. For an example let’s take a look at the process of painting a room.
The idea started when you noticed there was some type of problem about the current condition of whatever you are wanting to paint. This gets you excited because let’s assume you love to paint.
Pumped up and ready you start to imagine what the finished project will look like and a few colors seem obvious. You get in the car and drive over to a nearby store where you are instructed to look at the color samples.
The first choice you have is whether you need to take the time to pick the most amazing one, or if something close enough will be okay. After this you get to pick which kind of paint, gloss, semi-gloss, satin finish, and so on.
What started with a simple matter starts to become a hassle and the joy of painting slowing begins to decrease because its one choice after another which taps all your energy.
By the time you get back home you have found the ideal paint and still have to decide on when to start. Do I begin immediately, give myself an hour to get ready, or plan to do it at another time?
The point is how much control you want over things inevitably leads to the thought “this is just too much to handle”. Because it’s taking more energy to decide on something than its going to take to actually just do the work.
After wanting all this control its likely that you will feel overwhelmed and your brain will convince you that choice is more of a curse than you had ever imagined.
What does this really mean to you who is trying to figure out the best way to live your life and not have all the stuff piling up that makes getting up in the morning feel like a mountain to climb?
Learning about what you actually control will help you to make a priority list so that it’s much quicker and won’t drain you. But how do you get yourself in the right mindset to get the chore done now?
Regain Control of yourself first
The most important reason to learn that you can only control yourself and the things you prefer, helps to set some boundaries. In order to start getting things figured out, you will want to begin asking yourself some key questions.
How does each choice you make, benefit what you are searching for? Can you regain control of enough things so that you will be picking only based on which is best right now?
How much time does it really need to take before I can grow myself into what I need to become? Is there a source that I can look at in order to make my decisions easier?
Hopefully, that gives a good idea of what will be needed in order to prioritize and set up a plan going forward. There will be more on this after you see what the benefits are.
Here are the benefits of regaining control:
- Learn what your priorities really are.
- You become accustomed to certain needs.
- Figure out the skills you’re lacking in.
- You become less stressed out.
- Clear away the messes in your life.
- You get over your fears.
- Become less angry.
- Understand what triggers your anxieties
- You learn to say no to things that don’t matter.
- You see only the positives in your life.
- Adjust your thinking to become less serious.
- You find out what isn’t working.
- Start to experience joy in the moment
- Open your mind to things you never knew before.
- Learn to encourage yourself and not sabotage
One of the best ways to prove to yourself that you are capable is to start doing the stuff you have always wanted to do.
In order to get pumped up, you need to encourage yourself to look back at all that you have accomplished. Become proud and grateful to know that you really do have positive experiences.
Make a list of things you have already done so that you can prove to yourself just how capable you have always been.
For it to work, think back over your past and write down all kinds of positive stories with the lessons gained. An example is to think about that time you had the odds stacked up against you, maybe it felt like a miracle happened but you found a way to overcome the obstacle.
From these stories, you will want to write out and keep reminders in all the places you go to regularly. This way you will be able to motivate yourself anywhere at any time you need to see them.
This is something you can do with images, pictures, drawings, articles, blogs, social media, quotes, toys, collectibles, and so forth.
By the time you get a system set up the things in your life will start to follow suit to what you have been wanting.
The benefits of regaining control of yourself explained
- Priorities are one of the best and most useful things to figure out. These will be the first things you go after, the first questions you seek answers too, the first tasks you do in your day, the first people you go to when you’re stuck, and you will find more of them as you seek to learn more about yourself.
- You become accustomed to certain needs which are the things you already know that you have to include in your day. I suggest you do meditation, learn to do self-hypnosis, journal about your thoughts, feelings, experiences, annoyances, or anything that can distract you. Make sure you always have the time and schedule these so that you don’t skip anything.
- Skills are the keys to unlock your capabilities and to start getting the most out of each day. You should try to look far enough ahead so that you can figure out the best times to work on gaining these strengths. Knowing that I need to be a better writer, I force myself to keep doing it every day for at least a minimum amount. The same thing with lots of other skills that will be important to achieve the results I am after as soon as possible.
- Meditation, self-hypnosis, positive self-talk, asking questions and more will all be important things you need to control and focus on doing. In order to feel less overwhelmed and stressed out, you absolutely should do as much as you can to keep the stress down. Not only is it a potential health issue, but it also interferes with your mind and the thoughts that become essential to improvement.
- Organize everything so that you are never stuck trying to guess where you left something. I took this for granted and continue to ask myself where the correct information is that I am looking for. Don’t take organization for granted in either your personal or professional life. Any kind of mess can lead to that same feeling inside your mind. Keep stuff put away and out of sight when it’s not something you will need right away. More on this at a later time.
- Fears can be good and bad so it’s important to learn what these are for you and to remove the ones that don’t offer you any help. The sooner the better because you cannot risk letting these continue to plague your life. They waste time, energy and cause you to avoid actions that are necessary. I am proud to say I use self-hypnosis and that I am willing to spend the amount of time to get through all the fears I have experienced. It’s absolutely essential you get yours under control and remove the worst ones first which interfere the most. Lack of action will only increase your thoughts about being lazy, worthless, stupid, or not being good enough.
- Anger is both good and bad, it’s good because it lets you know something isn’t going the way you want it to go. This is an alert you need to take seriously and to figure out where it’s coming from. To use anger to your advantage will not only help you overcome things like fears, it will also give you the motivation to remove people from your life, junk from your surroundings, and it will keep you on track to get things accomplished. It only becomes a bad emotion when you lose control of your actions and behaviors. It’s usually not a good idea to confront somebody when you’re angry because the chance of feeling regrets later on.
- Anxiety whether its general or social are caused from within because of the way you think. Your thoughts are the reason you feel sick to your stomach, overwhelmed by groups of people, become terrified of situations, and let yourself become a victim and feel helpless when its all something you can control. Along with your fears, this is a necessary part of your life. A bit of anxiety is okay as long as you understand why you are letting yourself experience it. When you are unable to control your body its time to seek help, either from a professional or by following what has worked well for other people.
- Saying No is a release from feeling like you have to go along with everything everyone wants you to do. There is a lot that you will accomplish when you stop letting people walk all over you. Both men and women agree that its boring when their partner refuses to challenge what they want to do or what they say. Keep in mind you need to figure out the situations where saying no is actually appropriate and when it’s not. But if this is something you fear its a must for you to get yourself to do it as soon as you can.
- Seeing the positives in life is the same things as being thankful for what you have or what you accomplish. This can be done with a gratitude journal, notebook, or by becoming more mindful of your surroundings. I cannot stress how important it becomes to be willing to see the world as the positive place you need it to be. Fearing things doesn’t help you take actions, seeing the worst in everyone prevents you from taking actions or being compassionate. Improving this will also help you to become more relaxed and open-minded.
- Learning to become less serious is one of the ways to train yourself to gain a sense of humor and become witty. But this is similar to learning to say no more often because its something you slowly learn to do. Identifying when you should ease up and when it’s not appropriate will help you to become a more interesting person overall. People don’t want to be friends or work with someone who is always a goof-off, and the same thing goes for someone who is uptight and is always thinking work work work. Learning to balance yourself and to become just the right amount of each is possible when you control what you say and do.
- Figuring out what works and what doesn’t is another way to say you need to take inventory of everything that is included in your life. This includes friends, family, interests, habits, skills, priorities and even physical activities. When you find that something isn’t working out or isn’t helping you, it’s in your best interest to remove it or decrease the amount of time it’s in your life. When its family or friends it becomes a challenge but it will be essential to the progress you make and the positive way you think and believe. A part of regaining control of yourself is to get to the point of knowing what is a good fit and what is a bad fit so you make better choices.
- Joy in the moment means once something has served its purpose move on. There are techniques, tips, meditations, hypnosis, and other exercises that can assist you in letting things go. It will not only clear away all the mess in your mind but it will also create room to enjoy each and every moment to the fullest.
- Open your mind and learn new things, so that you continue to grow as a human being. When you are capable of seeing things through the eyes of somebody else or to understand the feelings that other people have. You will have the beginning steps to becoming an observer that takes it all in. This will help you because fewer little things will become escalated into big things. You will lose interest in always trying to be right because you will know there are two sides to every story and sometimes it’s even more. You will understand that life is full of many wonderful but incomplete things that are only useful when you see them in their complete form.
- Learn to encourage yourself to become a better more loving, more capable, more understanding, more compassionate, more responsible, more generous person and to observe things rather than try to dictate what happens. This is a key component to being happy and to gaining the most out of your life. You will finally understand how easy it is to gain and achieve your hearts desires because you aren’t so focused on all the shiny objects which aren’t the important stuff. Journaling at every chance you get will allow you to fully understand yourself better. This way no matter what else happens you have something to look back on and continue proving to yourself how much progress you have already made.
Over time you learn to control things automatically
This is where you start to figure out routines, habits, establish rules, write down events, get organized, get a schedule, become a better decision maker, and get yourself a buddy to assist you.
But you don’t automatically start with any of these things, so where to start looking and how to figure out what your priorities even are? A journal isn’t exactly good enough in this situation because you will have thoughts on everything scattered around.
That doesn’t mean you still don’t need one, it just means you are going to need to add something else to really get this stuff figured out. And the sooner you do it the better because time is really the most precious resource you have.
Here are the dangers of control:
- You don’t realize other people are involved
- Nothing outside of yourself can be controlled
- That you don’t have unlimited time to decide
- You won’t be able to do everything yourself
- Nobody can truly be self-sufficient
- Stress results when you lack control but still put forth effort trying to be in control (also can be delusional)
- Worry becomes dangerous because you want to control things you have no power to control
- Fear comes from an inability to control your feelings
- Passions can change from something you love to something you hate which can cause confusion and frustrations
- Not all dreams are realistic and it’s important to learn to choose things wisely
- Not all people will like and encourage what you are doing
- Obstacles interfere all the time and will be your chance to test yourself, also don’t be afraid of asking for help
With all of that out in the open, it’s important to learn how much control you are really interested in obtaining. Because comfort is a direct trade-off to gaining the things you want.
Controlling things starts with asking questions
There is no such way to get everything without having to first do the work to understand what it is. You need to be able to figure out who you are before you will actually understand what it takes to get things in the right order.
Questions will be your best friend, but only if it’s about something that will not directly impede your ability to move in the direction you want. Asking weak questions will waste time and likely make things more confusing.
The biggest takeaways from the lists are that you need to take the time to figure out yourself and what you already have. Then you will need to figure out what is preventing you from obtaining what you want.
After that, it’s just a matter of figuring out the quickest route to start moving closer to your dreams, and how much effort you will need to put forth to move in that direction.
You also need to figure out who else can be of assistance to you and what it will take to get them to help you. Now, I haven’t mentioned the costs yet for a reason, they will change in value significantly depending on the route you will take and what the end goal is.
Realistically you can expect to spend quite a bit if you are starting at a complete beginner level. The costs also factor in the time spent so that it’s not all about a set amount of currency.
Realize that skills are of varying difficulties and will depend on how fast you learn, what you want to learn, and who is teaching it to you.
How to reduce the costs of controlling your life
Start with a process that makes sense, you don’t want to learn something at the end that you needed to learn at the beginning and vice versa.
The fact that you can only handle so much at one time, means don’t put yourself in the bad spot trying to learn too many things at once. Learn what you can handle and never try to put yourself over that limit.
In other words, don’t try to place yourself in a position that adds more stress than is necessary, and don’t try to do things faster than you can honestly tolerate.
Both will work against you and lead to problems where you will have to redo and relearn. 15 best ways to benefit from regaining control is your chance to really go after what you need.
For the best results try to look at each of your choices from all possible point of views. Let me know if you have any questions and leave me some comments about what you like and dislike.