One of the biggest problems within our society today is nobody seems to care about anyone but themselves.
Normally this would be fine because we should always look out for what is best for ourselves first.
Here is the problem, we can’t just be obsessed with our own lives.
The world would fall to pieces because for everything one of us gets, somebody loses out on.
10 ways to learn compassion takes a closer look at what it means to practice love and kindness.
The benefits we gain from this selfless act will not only help somebody else who needs help, but also give us many more abilities in the process.
Don’t just sit back and think this world is ever gonna change by itself.
Why we should be more compassionate is about understanding our part to make everyone’s lives better including our own.
What is compassion and what does it mean to be compassionate?
Looking at the definition we will quickly understand that it’s important in many different ways. Every job out there where people interact with one another will create possibilities to show compassion.
It’s simply a way for us to suffer with somebody else and to share a burden with a desire to help that person out. You will no doubt see somebody in need because it’s easy to notice.
Our goal is to then take action and offer support to the person in need. Being a compassionate person means we are able to detect these kinds of suffering in people everywhere we go.
Have you ever felt like you were the only person who was going through a serious health issue? No family around and no friends to get ahold of, this wouldn’t be the most enjoyable time to be left alone.
The tendency is to need or want to be comforted and understood even when there really isn’t any way to help. Our minds desire to be reassured because it’s so easy to lose hope and start to doubt that we can survive.
Even the slightest chance for a safe recovery from a kind-hearted person could make or break a situation. There is so much more to it then to just be there for somebody else.
Not only is the shared experience a possible comfort but it’s often used as motivation.
10 ways to learn compassion
- Take good care of yourself – Take advantage of the information this site has to offer. Get well informed about how to be a better person and set up routines to follow which increase your chances. There is no reason why you can’t overcome any and all life obstacles.
- Be forgiving and ask for forgiveness – Stop being your own worst enemy, love yourself and remind yourself always about how great you are and what you can accomplish. Everyone experiences mistakes and this doesn’t make us any different. Forget, forgive and move on as quickly as possible to a different action.
- Don’t let pity get in the way – Compassion is a wonderful feeling we can create or experience, but don’t let yourself get confused and start to pity anyone or yourself. Pity is one of the worst feelings to have because we shouldn’t allow ourselves to feel superior or inferior to anyone else.
- Become aware of sameness – This goes right along with not allowing pity to corrupt our lives. When we are aware of everything being important and having an equal value we no longer need to judge anyone. Each of us has things which make us important and this includes people, animals, and the earth.
- Take care of a pet or a person in need – Having another living person or animal dependent on you will change your life for the better. We often forget how much value we are worth until something actually needs us to live. Not only that we can learn how important it is to be comforted because pets allow us to feel unconditional love very easily.
- Smile – Emotions and facial expressions are quite contagious. Do you like to enter a room where everyone else looks unhappy or like they are bored to death? I don’t so when you can bring a smile everywhere you go you can create happiness just by showing that off to others.
- Practice good manners – Please and thank you are a couple of the first words everyone is taught. Do you understand why they are of value to us? Good manners are similar to a smile but they go even further by showing respect towards everyone around you. Want to be respected rather than ridiculed? Do your best to show people you want their company and you value and respect them with appropriate manners.
- Do random acts of kindness – For no other reason then you can make somebody else’s day how you see fit. Whether you give out a bigger tip than usual to a waitress or help somebody pick up items from a spilled purse. When we practice awareness we automatically start seeing more ways to be kind to other people.
- Willingness to be taught – There are experts everywhere who actually enjoy teaching other people whatever they can. Show compassion and allow yourself to be teachable by not complaining or whining and doing exactly what is expected as you learn.
- Offer praise when it’s warranted – Being grateful and thankful shows that we care. When somebody goes out of their way to help us or show us something make sure you appreciate them for that and praise them for it. Don’t waste your time or energy saying things that are not true and be honest with your praise of others.
Why compassion should be a priority
Knowing what it is, helps us identify possibilities everywhere we go.
But why compassion should be a priority isn’t all that well known. For somebody that has a long-term issue, it’s life-changing to start taking measures to practice self-compassion.
This doesn’t mean I ignore other people and stay to myself, what it does mean is that once we understand it we need to be sure to recognize our own pain.
To properly be there for somebody else in their time of need we have to realize that true compassion is contagious. It’s everywhere and it impacts everyone.
But before it can grow and spread it has to come from somewhere. Whether you go out and take a class on self-compassion or follow what I will teach you is up to you.
Rules or guidelines are part of this understanding as well as practice. I will show you what I am talking about shortly. Right now it’s a good time to close your eyes and reflect on where you are currently suffering.
To start we have to accept our own suffering and acknowledge what it feels like. Where in your body do you feel this pain? And if you can see it what does it look like to you?
Who do we know is compassionate and who is affected by suffering?
Aside from just ourselves we probably all can think of somebody in our lives who seems to always be dealing with some type of crisis. What would you do to comfort that person, or what have you done to comfort them?
It’s important to notice how we respond to others so that when it comes to being there for our own suffering we can do the same things.
There are reasons why people volunteer, reasons why some people work in certain fields or industries, and why some people live restricted lives.
They understand compassion to some degree already and it’s not always that easy to stay in the mindset to help people each time. Most of us feel drained by the end of the day doing it.
Wonder why that is? Happens to be the most misunderstand feeling because it’s not about the long hours it’s about the energy that gets spent on using our minds to feel that constant pain.
Without the proper practice and without the proper self-compassion it is likely to lead to burn out or overwhelming frustrations.
One way to adjust is to learn about self-compassion meditations. These can be guided to allow our own suffering to ease up which helps to give us a needed break from that pain.
The point isn’t to repress the pain but to allow it to be there that way it’s not always hovering right on top of us.
Where does this pain or suffering come from?
There is no stronger or better ability to have then compassion. It comes from within ourselves because we know that it’sa part of life to experience pain.
Suffering is our body and mind telling us that something is not right and that we need to work on fixing the problems before moving on.
Chances are though you don’t understand the main issue because it’s been growing inside you for quite a while.
You have worries or doubts about yourself, or you have allowed negative thinking to remain.
Every choice or decision in our lives can impact us with some type of suffering and will linger if it’s not addressed.
Fear and anxiety stem from a problem or feeling of discomfort that we wish to avoid.
Self-compassion gives us a chance to listen to that issue and to see where it came from. There are lots of different ways to track down the root to any and all problems we face.
You just need a willingness and desire to do so. Understanding ourselves and others come from a lack of training in some area. I am talking about things we can teach or train ourselves to do.
Often we just haven’t taken the time to become aware of these.
When is a great time to practice compassion?
Start today, admit that you have pain and accept that it’s there. This way you can start to figure out why it’s there and howyou can find and deal with it.
Like I mentioned we can share the suffering of others much easier than we can ourselves. This is due to practice and knowledge.
By now I hope you are aware of something that causes your own pain so you will have a place to start. Meditation is just one way to start working on it.
In the next few minutes, I will give you more information about solving or easing that suffering. Make a real effort to schedule at least one of them into your daily routine.
But first, we need to figure out how to tell if we are compassionate or not.
Nine things to check to see how compassionate you are
Curious to know if you are already considered a compassionate person or if you need to take a few more steps before you can add that to your accomplishments?
Here are nine ways to tell whether you have it or not:
- How easy is it for you to find things in common with other people?
- Are you money oriented or does a passion for doing something motivate you?
- How generous are you with your time and money?
- Do you volunteer to help others or do it to get noticed?
- Are you kind to yourself and reward yourself for achievements?
- How willing are you to teach another person what you know?
- How much awareness would you say that you have?
- Do you have a high level of emotional intelligence?
- Can you show that you are thankful and grateful for your achievements?
Taking a closer look at each of these we can see how far along with this ability we currently are. For each one, you couldfigure out a scale from 1-10 or 1-100 and then test out where you fall.
How easy is it for you to find things in common with other people? From experience, I have a tendency to struggle with this one so I believe I would score at 5/10 or 50/100.
Just find a way to gauge your starting point and make a schedule to start increasing each one.
Maybe you do two different ones a day with some overlap or one a day and cycle through all nine before starting again.
Up to you how important compassion will be in your own life. I think it should be high in importance because caring about others is a wonderful way to care for yourself.
In fact, people who have 5 close friends or look up to five or more people succeed at much higher rates.
What has compassion done for you in life so far?
Some of the key areas we need to look at now involve our previous experience with practicing compassion. In case you have missed the previous posts where I mention journaling, here is one more reason doing it is valuable.
Whether you are social or not at this point is gonna make or break us, unfortunately. Because even a desire to care about others doesn’t mean we take the time to practice.
Avoiding uncomfortable situations and places make compassion next to impossible but not completely.
Here are some tips:
- Become a better listener because you need to give your undivided attention to anyone who is suffering that you want to help. It’s hard to listen if you don’t get close to anyone, also it’s hard to do if you are mainly behind a computer screen.
- Knowing what the real meaning which is behind certain emotions. Just because a person appears angry doesn’t mean they are truly mad. They could be experiencing a fear of something. This isn’t unusual for people to be angry after finding out they are diagnosed with a condition. When a person blames others they may also be concealing a form of shame or guilt.
- Whether you are alone or not will determine how much compassion experience you have. One way to make a change is to seek close relationships with people you want to be friends with. This way you will start to develop a system of support. It’s unlikely that you will get the main benefits from compassion by avoiding people, so start building your own personal circle immediately no matter what. Feeling compassion is one of the best ways to learn it and then reciprocate for others.
- Stop judging people for any one time issues. It’s not fair to completely shun a person who has always been nice prior to lash out one time. Remember too look at and treat the person as a whole person instead. Giving them the benefit of the doubt will likely be exactly how you wish others would behave in response to you.
- Visualize or mentally see the situation as it happens. Don’t just listen and nod, try to put yourself in the same shoes or same scenario that the other person describes. This is by far the best way to react as it would naturally occur to yourself. If it’s hard to see it exactly the same try to figure out something as close as possible.
- Meditate(pray) for the other person and let them know you are gonna be doing it. Explain what it is you will be putting yourself through if they don’t understand what meditation is. Even if you can’t quite connect the same way you want, it will teach you a new feeling for the future. Hopefully, it will calm the other person to hear that you are doing it.
- Always remember to have self-compassion for what you experience when trying to offer the support. Like I was saying above since we are not perfect there will be times we just can’t get a close enough experience to really connect with that person. So don’t beat yourself up over it and remember to keep trying. We learn from our failures as well as any mistakes we might make along the way.
Some final thoughts about compassion and reflection
There are tremendous benefits which everyone gains from being a more compassionate person. One thing I wanted to be certain I pointed out is that when trying to find a cure or a fix for our social awkwardness.
Compassion has some of the most powerful life changes involved. The more compassionate you become the less likely you are to be worried or doubtful about anything.
The main reason I wanted to write this post was to create a solid understanding of just how much goes into compassion and how useful it is for us to learn from it.
Just to go back over the most important point here, we need to be kind to ourselves first before we ever look outside to help anyone.
One of the main reasons people don’t care enough about others is that there is something inside of them they dislike or hate.
Work on making yourself the best that you can and then go out and pay it forward by helping anyone and everyone that you can.
10 ways to learn compassion is really more of a guide than just a few tips. I hope that you now understand why it’s important and why we should be more compassionate.
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