Imagine yourself about to approach a stranger that you like and are feeling uneasy because you don’t know what will happen.
Wouldn’t you rather learn 10 secrets about overcoming a fear of rejection and be certain you will make a great impression?
That is exactly what you will learn when you are done reading this article. My goal is to give away the best hard to find answers to why rejection is difficult to handle.
Beware that there isn’t a way to eliminate it altogether, these secrets will make you learn to be more powerful despite receiving it. When you learn how to be in control of your reactions, you will stand out even better in that person’s mind.
Why would it matter if you make a good impression or not especially with the chance of being declined?
You will find out shortly because it’s going to help you develop the mindset to brush things off with ease.
Also, think about the way that your thoughts change when they are influenced by your environment.
This will help you to use timing and reduce stress. The more you can become the relaxed and easy going person that people relate well to, the simpler it will be to approach.
10 Secrets You Need To Learn About Rejection
1) Did you know that you aren’t alone in the feeling when it’s happening?
When you think about everything that goes on with your own thought process what does it really mean and how does it affect your responses?
Here is what I mean, because you are likely to place a level of importance on the interaction that is about to happen, right? Often it’s because you run through the possibilities which trigger a few different responses.
One of them is getting accepted and being delighted, the other is messing something up and looking foolish which will be of no help. Then there is the response where you feel that the other person is disgusted you even asked.
You have attached a high, medium, and low feeling to each of the possible responses and this is wrong.
This makes it impossible for you to handle the medium and low feelings because you also attach your self-worth or self-esteem to it.
Instead, you need to adopt a mindset where any of the three responses will be an okay feeling. Develop the attitude of not needing somebody else’s approval.
When you are successful, you will be able to act confidently and not look as if your entire worlds needs this to happen.
Plain and simple when you can take away any desperation you have, it will make your mood easier to maintain and control in all situations.
2) Why is it you seem to think of somebody else as being better?
Once again you have somehow placed a hidden value that they are more important than you or else why would they be attractive or be somebody you liked?
One of the keys to being relaxed and calm whenever you deal with another person isn’t to see them as an equal, it’s to see them the way that they really are, which is a person who suffers and struggles the same as you.
Instead of looking at the external features that they have taken the time to present to the world, you will want to start to understand what it says about them and where they are needing to improve themselves.
This will make every person you meet relatable in a way that it’s much easier to talk about stuff with them. When you can approach a stranger and already understand something about them, it allows you to be confident and believe that you are the one in control.
You may only want to spend five seconds saying hi and getting their information. But that isn’t the way that makes a good impression.
What works better is to find something you can say that will either be memorable or will cause them to stop and think for a moment.
Then you can make a suggestion for getting together later on but only if you have gotten past the no access sign they hang on themselves with their appearance.
3) Stop trying to talk yourself into it
This will only create a sense of doubt in your mind about your own importance.
Instead of trying to come up with a pickup line or a one-line joke, say something else that will go against the norm.
Why do that?
Because it’s also going to remove your pre-programming stupidity when it comes to trying to think about your lines.
It’s not something you will do easily on the first few tries but if you catch what happens you learn more about how to do it for the next time.
This one opportunity is just your research phase about stumbling onto an approach that works in time.
When you retrain yourself to think about rejection as a not so serious matter, your subconscious mind will grow and be there to assist you in the future.
No matter what you read there isn’t a person who handles rejection right their first several tries, it’s a skill you must learn in order to get over your fears in life.
Imagine what it’s like for the most successful person you know on their first try, do you think they knew the process or do you imagine they figured it out with time and trials?
Remember that nothing is truly as serious as you can make it, but then again it’s really only one way to look at it anyways outta millions.
4) Let’s take a look at what rejection means to you and see why it’s a negative thing.
Think back to your childhood and where you may have learned about what it was.
Did you happen to get denied when you wanted a toy or some type of treat?
Of course, you did and that happens to anyone who wasn’t spoiled as a child.
This means that you have already taught yourself what it represents and have attached the feeling you will experience anytime that it happens.
That shows you will not really be in control of how you handle each new experience.
What this tells me is that you are already setting yourself up to go through that same experience and it may be interfering with the image you live by.
Just because you grew tolerant of being told no or no thank you, that now you will be angry and bitter before you step up to the plate.
These feelings repeat as soon as you think about that approach and will plague your mind and change your true behaviors.
Inside each of you is a certain root issue where the rejection really hurts and that is why it’s a negative and not something else. Instead of being capable to handle this type of situation you will hold a grudge that won’t be let go of.
You feel like you want to throw a fit because you didn’t get your way, its the same thing you learned to do as a child which hasn’t quite been removed from your mind yet.
5) Let’s look at the positive times where rejection actually became a good thing
Remember when you almost drank a bottle full of poisonous liquid? You may not but your subconscious mind does and it’s trying to actually keep you safe.
So when you think about a situation as being a big deal, a part of your mind is trying to force you to be told no. That means the level of your own control goes down significantly and you will say things that are quite confusing.
Even if you have never almost tried to kill yourself by finding and drinking a toxic bottle of liquid, there is a very high chance that you wanted to.
But what happens is you will develop a different memory based on your imagination, that you were interfered with by being denied. Something like I hate all the times I wasn’t allowed to do what I wanted, life is unfair.
When you fail at recalling everything that happened correctly in your life which has taught you an important lesson, you will likely hold onto the bad feelings for no other reason besides not having reflected on it.
This means that each time you were prevented from something and it was a good thing you can retrain yourself to include that into how you feel in the future.
That alone will make you see rejection in a new way because knowing that your mind is just trying to keep you safe will give you an explanation of why you sometimes find it difficult.
6) Learn about the difference between wanting something and deserving something.
This will make you understand how your perception of something can be tricky to explain.
For this one, you will need to think about the future and where it will lead to in order to know what I am referring to. When you go to approach somebody and there is a miniscule hesitation there, do you know why?
That part of your brain that doesn’t want you to end up continuing down the wrong path will retaliate and cause more pain then you need to endure. This happens when you merely want something but don’t have a full reason for it.
So when there is any real threat to a perceived deviation you will not be ready to handle things well. In the case of receiving a no or being told not interested, you will be filled with a sadness because you have really gone after something your mind felt you didn’t need or deserved.
This goes back to the basis you have set for what makes something important and what makes something a challenge. To see the goal as a leap instead of a step will cause disharmony in your mind.
An example you can think about is when you ask for a raise but have not taken the time to convince somebody as to why it’s necessary. Your default response may end up being “because I just do” and that is not only weak but also vague.
7) Human nature will cause a bad perception to happen when there is a false belief present.
This will be unavoidable because often the other person will not be as “good” or as “well off” as you are.
They just so happen to disregard the same values and beliefs that you know to be the truths. In this case, you must not blame yourself for them not being informed and it’s not worth your time and effort to try and cause a change in them to happen.
In other words, they just don’t know a good thing when they see it. This is a very real thing depending on a lot of different background experiences that each person goes through.
It’s a just because or by no fault of your own that they are just a misguided individual who happens to need to go through more suffering before they find what it is they are looking for.
8) There is also a possibility that the other person or people who do the denying are looking for a specific thing that you weren’t born with.
That is absolutely nothing to do with yourself and it’s one of the things that happen often in the universe.
Before you ever point the finger at yourself you must know about all the different reasons that a person can find something lacking in any other person.
Take the girl who only likes guys who are six foot tall, and you find yourself at five foot six inches. There is nothing that you can do to become a taller person and will just have to learn to let go of these kinds of setbacks.
The good news is that you also learn that you will find the same things true about others who lack what you are specifically looking for. That alone should indicate to you that it’s not a personal rejection but one that was gonna happen no matter what transpired.
9) Expectations are delusional or are set for a fantasy world
This happens all the time as well because you see and hear stories which are fabrications of the truth.
A good storyteller knows to make things sound bigger, more serious, more complex, and more unusual to ensure that it’s an interesting story.
So based on this information you may encounter somebody else whose expectations make no sense and this can happen with your own.
In any case, you are still better off by figuring out what the expectations are when you are thinking about something that requires another person’s approval.
When you can get over the silly signs of being too caught up an self-absorbed you will know it’s wise to move on quickly to the next opportunity.
10) Become one hundred percent certain of what you are going after
This is great advice for anything that has a chance to work in your favor or not. Because the more you can see what it is you truly are after the better you will get at finding it.
The chances of wasting your time decrease because you will identify the wrong places to look, the wrong personal identifiers and the right situations will arise much faster.
In what can be said as the greatest action plan you will discover the strategies which work and which backfire. Once you are more knowledgeable about these things the higher your success rate becomes.
This will eventually evolve into a process that becomes second nature to you and then it will only matter that you stick with your ability to optimize it for efficiency.
Symptoms to recognize about rejection
What kinds of things should you develop in order to understand how well you will do in an interaction?
Knowing every detail about yourself is going to directly lead you toward the successes you are after.
Thinking about all the troubles you will encounter will only keep them prevalent in your mind and not help or assist you in finding a solution.
Before you beat yourself up you will need to know the basic steps that get you what you’re after.
These are known as the symptoms which are not the cause of your problems but they will help you understand how to develop the right kind of game plan moving forward in your attempts to handle rejections better than now.
Lacking ambition will be among the list of things that will be noticeable inside of a few minutes because you will lean toward saying nothing.
When people are excited it’s because there is a part of them which they cannot help but mention what is going well in their own lives.
Ambition simply means you know what you want and have a plan to get it. Also, that it’s in progress because you are taking the steps needed to get there and won’t let anything stop you.
This stands out in the minds of other people because they can see it in your facial gestures and know whether you have what is a key factor in a working relationship.
It’s also important because they can assume your plans will include them in the case of things developing long term.
Realize that it’s in your best interest to understand this anyway because it allows you to light up and become more spontaneous since you can say what the hell and put your plans aside for a moment.
Lacking confidence because you will not only be less thrilled in your life but will also show signs of weaknesses often. That alone will stand out in any situation far more than ambition because you will simply not get to the next point.
This means that you should practice more about the skills which are the important parts of your life.
The reason confidence is so crucial is because you will only be capable of creating an interesting future when you do things well.
When you lack the abilities to perform it’s obviously going to cause worry and doubt in others who will feel uncomfortable around you and that is a negative thing to bring to the table.
Lack of courage is the last thing I want to bring up because it’s essential for you to become brave in your life in order to become confident or ambitious.
When you have the courage you will be able to handle any situation and won’t need to worry about what somebody else says, thinks, does, or responds.
This means you already realize that it’s entirely possible to not need anything from another person because there will be somebody who can come along and help you out.
The idea is that the more you are capable of facing anything that shows up in your life, the more it will bring positive things into your life and not just the bad things.
Rejection isn’t a big deal
When you understand that perfect stuff doesn’t exist, you will find there is no excuse to not keep trying. Whether you are looking for something or somebody it’s really not a different idea that takes place.
The whole world is a big place, the pool of people and places to go out and try are going to continue to increase and change. You will not find things in life to be simple, but you will find success because you learn not to give up.
When you think of every interaction as being no different than any other you will be capable of seeing the less serious sides of your own challenges. This will translate into you becoming less fearful of other people and what they say and do.
The results you get will vary and that is the biggest reason you must get used to dealing with both the positive and negative parts of life. Remove the obstacles that prevent you from taking actions and you will learn how to fully develop into the exceptional person you want to be.
10 Secrets About Overcoming A Fear Of Rejection will guide you through all the nonsense that has consumed your mind. When you understand the nature of yourself and others you will be glad you took the time to invest in this information.